How to save a life
by inzaghina
Summary: What if Derek had been taken for a CT and operated on right away? My take on the events of 11x21. AU, because of the entirely different ending from the show. MerDer with all major characters making an appearance.
1. If I lay here

**AN: after watching the latest episode I decided, that naming it "How to save a life" was some sort of cruel joke and this popped into my head. What whould have heppened if they had given him a head CT? I'll start from there and explore how this could have gone, of course with a different ending from the one we got. I cannot imagine Grey's without Derek, I cannot believe that Meredith and him won't have their happily ever after, she already went through so much in her life and having her lose the love of her life is s cruel. This is my version of episode 11x21 and how I think it should have gone. There will be more if you guys like it.**

_If I lay here_

The trip from her home to the hospital was a blur, just like everything after those two policemen told her about the accident. She didn't even remember dressing the kids, but as she looked at them while standing in front of that small country hospital she discovered that both of them had a coat on top of their pjs and tennis shoes on their feet.

"What am I going to do with my kids?" she heard herself asking the two uniformed men.

"We can stay with them while you speak with the doctors" the older one reassured her, coming forward to take hold of Bailey's stroller.

She looked at the sleeping boy before turning to Zola "Hey Zozo, I need to go speak with some doctors, will you be okay here with these two policemen?"

The little girl nodded, sleepiness and fear both clear in her big brown eyes.

"I will be back as soon as possible, okay?" she kneeled down, hugging her close.

"Okay mama" she whispered, turning to look at the two policemen with the nice smiles, the younger blond one offered the girl his hand and she gladly took it, following them and taking a seat in the waiting room.

Meredith found two doctors waiting for her in the lobby, they both had a somber look on their faces and she felt her heart skip a beat.

"Mrs. Shepherd?" the girl looked like she was a third or fourth year resident.

She just nodded in response "I'm Dr. Williams and I just finished operating on your husband" the other one piped in.

"How is he doing?" she heard herself ask.

"He suffered what is called a subdural hematoma, which means that blood was collected between the layers of tissue surrounding his brain increasing the pressure outside his brain, he was almost unconscious when he was brought here and we took him to get a CT scan right away. I performed a craniotomy in order to reduce the pressure and now he's in our post-op room..." she interrupted him "I'm a doctor, a surgeon really, just like my husband is, so I know what a subdural hematoma is. Are you taking him to your ICU?" she asked, her voice trembling.

"We don't have one here, we've already called the paramedics and they are going to be here in five to ten minutes to take him to the closest ICU which is at Seattle Pres"

"I want him taken at Grey Sloane Memorial, that's the hospital where we work at, I'm sure they will take good care of him and the trip will only be ten minutes longer" she reasoned.

"Okay, if that's what you want"

"It is" her voice firm, she let go of a breath she didn't know she had been holding "can I see him?"

"Yes, if you come with us" the girl spoke again.

She followed them to a private room on the right side of the lobby and saw his emaciated body on the hospital bed.

She inhaled deeply and felt a lone tear roll down her right cheek; she closed the distance separating them and took hold of his left hand.

"It's going to be okay Derek, I'm taking you to Grey Sloane, your sister will take good care of you" she promised in a whisper, kissing his fingertips.

Looking at his chest rising and falling slowly, along with listening to the monitors beep and looking at his heart rate was sort of comforting, but she was glad to hear the paramedics barge in the room with a stretcher.

"This is his wife, they're both doctors at Grey Sloane and she wants him taken there" Dr. Williams spoke to the two of them.

"Sure thing" they answered as they were already transferring on the stretcher "do you want to ride with us?"

"My kids are in the waiting room with the policemen who came to our house, let me go check on them"

"Okay, we'll see you in the lobby"

When she arrived in the waiting room she found both of the kids asleep along with the two policemen "they're transferring him to Grey Sloan Memorial where we both work, because they don't have an ICU here" she said.

"Okay" it was the older one who answered "I suppose you want to ride with him"

"I would like to do that, yeah, but what are we doing about the kids?"

"We can follow along and meet you over there" the other one reassured her.

"That would be great" she said, her voice crocked.

"Okay then, let's put the kids back in the patrol car" they both got up and went back outside, along with the paramedics who had arrived in the lobby.

Sitting in the back of the ambulance Meredith stared at the police car containing her kids, hoping neither of them would wake up during that ride.

She held onto Derek's hand for the entire ride over to GSMH, never letting it go while she called his sister and Owen to inform them about what had happened and how long it was going to take them. After she had finished those calls she wandered if she was had to call his mother as well, but it was the middle of the night on the east coast and waking her up with this news didn't sound like a good idea. She decided to call Alex instead and he assured her that he would go back to the hospital right away.

* * *

When the hospital finally came into view she felt herself relax a little, the best care for him was definitely here, behind the walls of Grey Sloane.

The ambulance came to a stop and they were met by Amelia, Owen and Maggie.

Once again she felt herself move in a blur, not understanding what was going on, only aware of the fact that her sleeping kids had arrived as well.

Alex was in the lobby in a matter of seconds, with Jo next to him. She took hold of the stroller, while Alex took Zola's sleeping body from the policeman's arms.

"Thank you" she heard herself say.

"No problem at all Ma'am" they took one last look at the two sleeping children and left the hospital.

"They took him up in the ICU, Amelia is taking a look at the scans" Jo reassured her "Dr. Pierce also wants to take a look at his heart"

"He's going to make it, Mere" Alex placed a hand on her shoulder.

"You don't know that" she wiped the tears streaming silently on her face.

"They gave him a head CT right away and relieved the pressure, now he's in the hands of a really capable surgeon" he tried to calm her down.

"Yeah, I know... they wanted to take him to Seattle Pres"

* * *

When Amelia got back Meredith didn't know if she had been sitting there with Alex, Jo and the kids for ten minutes or for ten hours.

"The intra-cranial pressure decreased dramatically compared to before surgery" was the first thing she said.

"Okay" she nodded in response "where do we go from here?"

"We will monitor him closely and check his pressure every two hours" she paused and looked at her sister in law "I'm confident he should wake up, Dr. Williams did a good job, I'm just not sure how long it will take him. You know how these things go..."

"Yeah" she whispered, holding onto Alex's hand.

Maggie came along with Owen just then "I did some exams and his heart is in good shape, it looks like it didn't suffer in any way during surgery, but I'll monitor him closely as well" she reassured as well.

"Good" Meredith looked up at the three of them "I wasn't sure about calling your mom in the middle of the night" she added then.

Amelia looked at her wristwatch, it was 3:47 a.m. "maybe we should call her now, she could get an early flight out" she finally added.

"Yeah, we should"

"I can call her, she is my mom"

Meredith turned to look at her still sleeping children and got up, closing the distance between herself and the younger Shepherd "we can call her together"

Amelia nodded "It's going to be okay" she whispered holding onto her hand.

"I hope" Meredith whispered back, she than turned towards Alex "can you keep an eye on them while we call Carolyn?"

"Of course" he nodded.

While she listened to Amelia trying to be reassuring to her mother she let herself crying silently tears of fear; Derek had to make it. _I can live without you, but I don't want to. I don't ever want to._

"Want to go see him?" she heard Amelia asking after she had explained that her mom was going to the airport right away.

"Yes, please" the two of them went up the ICU and she found herself looking at him, lying in the white bed, he looked somehow less emaciated, but she wasn't sure if it was just her impression.

She leaned on him and gave him a light kiss on the cheek, inhaling a foreign scent, of hospital and detergent.

"He looks like he's sleeping" she said.

"Well, he basically is"

I know... I just hope he wakes up soon"

"Me too"

"What do I tell the kids?"

"You tell them that daddy is sick at the moment and he can't see them" she answered after a long pause.

"Yeah, it's probably best" she mused "I should go back to them"

"I'm sure Alex will take them home if you wish to stay here"

"Yeah, but they also need a change of clothes..."

"We can work something out, Mere. You're not alone in this"

"Thanks" she whispered after a while, kissing his cold cheek once again "I will be back soon" she reassured the still man.

Jo agreed to take the kids home, while Alex went to retrieve some clothes along with Maggie, so that they could come back with Meredith's car as well. The resident promised to be back with the kids around breakfast time, so they could eat with their mom and go to daycare like always. When Jackson and April arrived at 7 a.m., Owen offered to explain what had happened to them and Meredith was so grateful for her makeshift hospital family. At 7:20 Callie was sitting next to her, an arm around her shoulders "I'm sure it will all be okay, you hear me?"

"Yeah... I really hope so"

"You need to think positive, Meredith"

"I'm trying" she finally answered "he was supposed to resign from the White House and be back here for good"

"And he will be, you guys are proof that true love exists and it can overcome everything"

"Doesn't really feel like it at the moment" she bitterly answered.

"I know, but you heard what Amelia said. His pressure is decreasing and they did everything like she would have done"

Meredith just nodded "I don't want to be a widow" she confessed.

"You won't" she kept on hugging her with her left arm.

"Have you told Cristina?" she asked after a while.

"Not yet"

"I think you should"

"Yeah, I will do that now; before the kids get here" she said fishing for her cell phone in her purse.

On the other side of the ocean, thousands of miles away, a phone ringed in the afternoon in an simply furnished office.

"Meredith? Is everything okay? Why are you calling me at this hour?"

"Derek was in an accident"

"How is he doing?" Cristina was on high alert.

"He suffered a subdural hematoma, Amelia is keeping an eye on him. She's confident he will wake up"

"How are the kids?"

"They don't know yet, I don't think I will tell them just yet..." there was a brief pause.

"Let me clear up my schedule, I'll try to catch a flight either tomorrow night or the day after"

"You don't have to"

"Of course I do, you're my person. Tell that stubborn husband of yours that he better be awake when I get there and I'll see you in a couple of days"

"Okay... thank you"

"Don't even mention it"

As she put her phone back into her purse she heard the pitter-patter of small feet and saw Jo and Alex coming along with Zola and Bailey.

"Mama!" the girl shrieked as she saw her.

"Hey baby girl" she smiled back, putting all negative thoughts aside.

"I missed you"

"I did to, but mama had to stay here at the hospital" she said hugging her.

The girl inhaled her lavender scent and sat contently in her lap.

"I'm right here" she reassured her, caressing her back "It's all going to be okay"

**So, what did you think? Like it so far? The story sort of hit me after I woke up this morning, I have the outline clear in my head and I hope you guys can be interested in it. Press the pretty blue button and let me know how you liked it.**


	2. Just forget the world

**AN: You guys, I was completely overwhelmed by the response I got after I posted the first chapter; thank you so much for all the reviews, the followings and the favorites, it was great to see that I was not the only one feeling cheated by the latest episode. I originally wanted to post this yesterday, but I got sick, so here is the second chapter, some familiar faces reappear in Seattle.**

_Just forget the world_

Carolyn Shepherd was not a soft woman. She found herself a widow with five kids to raise by the age of 39 and she had no time to dwell on the pain she was going through or the sorrow she felt towards the two men who deprived her of the love of her life. She was used to life's unfairness, but she found herself the scariest she had been in her entire life as she boarded the plane to Seattle. The plane that was going to take her to her son, to his family, to her youngest daughter. Both Derek and Meredith had suffered too much during these last years, she thought it was time for them to finally be able to enjoy each other's company and their little family. She could only pray to arrive in Seattle and find her boy still improving and on road to recovery. She couldn't fathom the idea of Meredith becoming a widow, just like she had, and their kids being orphans, much like Derek and his sisters had been, she didn't even want to begin thinking about losing her son

* * *

After she had taken the kids to daycare Meredith found herself without purpose. She could have actually kept the kids with her, since there was no way she was going to practice medicine while her husband was laying unconscious on a hospital bed, but she figured this was better for them. Giving them a sort of normalcy. They hadn't asked about their daddy yet and she hoped to have a little more time until they did. She wished he would be awake soon enough for them not to notice his absence, but she knew she was going to be hit with questions, especially from Zola, in the next couple of days. Derek had promised them both to be home soon and the concept of time was still fuzzy in the little ones' heads. She found Alex waiting for her right outside the daycare door; he was holding a blueberry muffin and he had a boyish look gracing his features, he looked almost sheepish "I took the day off, I figured you needed someone by your side" he mumbled.

She didn't know what to say, she let herself fell on a chair and looked up at him, a grateful look paired with tears in her eyes "I don't think I can make it without him" she finally confessed.

"You won't have to" he reassured her.

"You don't know that"

"You're right, I don't" he spoke after a long pause as he sat down next to her "what I do know is that Derek is getting the best care we can give him at the moment and Amelia is confident that he will wake up, we need to believe that, okay?"

She just sniffed and leaned into him "okay" she finally whispered.

"Here, I brought you your favorite kind of muffin, Jo couldn't sleep last night after we got home, so she baked"

"I'm not hungry"

"That's a lie" he contradicted her "I'm sure you didn't have dinner last night because you were going to the hospital where they had taken Derek and I know for a fact that you missed lunch yesterday"

"Okay, I actually am a little hungry" she finally admitted smelling the baked good.

"They're really good"

"So, what is it with you and women who bake when they're nervous?" she asked in between bites.

"I don't even know when or where Jo learned to bake, considering she used to live in her car as a teenager" he shrugged his shoulders, keeping an eye on her.

"It's really good" she confirmed when she was done.

"I'm glad to hear that since I brought you a couple more" he tried to smile handing her a paper bag containing three more muffins "she also gave one each to the kids"

"I'll thank her as soon as I see her"

"I'm sure she doesn't need that"

"Well, I still want to" she stubbornly replied "she's great, really good for you, I'm happy that you two found each other"

"Thanks" he scratched his head, giving her a one-armed hug.

"I'm serious, you deserve to be happy, Alex"

"So do you, Mere... it's all going to be okay"

They stayed there in companionable silence for a while; she was the one to break the silence "I called Cristina, you know?"

"I figured you would have"

"She will be here in a couple of days" she added.

"That's good, you need your person by your side"

"You're filling in for her just fine" she quietly whispered "I don't know what I would have done without you during this last year" she confessed.

"That's what friends are for" he reassured her.

"I really mean it, Alex. You're like the brother I never had"

"I'm glad to have been able to be by your side, you and I went through so much crap since we met, I don't even know how we're still able to be standing up" he mused "I guess we're both fighters... and so is Derek, he's fighting to come back to you and your kids, I'm sure of it" his tone reassuring, eyes twinkling.

"Yeah, I think so too... if I think about all the time we've wasted I just get so mad" she whispered.

"You didn't waste time" he tried to contradict her.

"Yes we did... first there was Addison, than Finn the vet, than we were together, but there was the major setback of the whole Cristina and Burke's wedding... than there was Rose, we basically wasted two whole years" she stared at Alex, those memories fresh in her mind.

"I don't see them as years wasted, Mere... all these experiences brought you closer and showed you that you two belong together, it's because all of this happened that you're here today, that you're married, have two great kids and a beautiful family. Hell, you guys even own a hospital for crying out loud!"

"You really see it this way?" she marveled.

"I do... if there is one thing working here in Seattle has taught me is that everything happens for a reason, even if we don't understand it at first"

"Maybe you're right" she finally answered, getting a bite from a chocolate muffin "but what would be the reason behind all this?" she asked.

"To make you guys even stronger I suppose... but hey, I'm no God, so I really don't know. I just know that I'll be by your side and you can count on me, all right?!"

"I do know that" she mumbled.

"Want to go see him?" he asked when she was done with the second muffin.

"Yeah" they got up "but first..." she leaned into him and gave him a long hug "thanks for being you, Alex. You've really grown into a great friend, one of my best friends really, and I'm glad my kids can call you uncle Alex"

"I'm glad too" he reassured her hugging her back.

* * *

Callie found Meredith in Derek's room, Alex looming outside "Hey Mere, how is he doing?"

"Still the same, vitals look good" her answer mechanic.

"Listen, Amelia told me that she thinks his left leg looks damaged from the crash" she said getting close to the bed.

"Go ahead and examine him, of course" Meredith moved out of her way, allowing her to shift the light blue sheet that was covering him. Just as Callie started her examination, Alex entered the room in order to give Meredith some comfort. Meanwhile Callie was examining Derek's left leg, starting the top, going down towards the knee, then all the way down until she had examined the calf and and ankle. After she was done she turned to look at Meredith and gave her a tentative smile "I should take him to get an x-ray, I'm pretty sure either his tibia or fibula are broken, if not both... I'm sorry"

"It's okay... it's not like it's your fault" she just shrugged.

"His femur and knee seem fine, but I'll get an x-ray of the entire leg, just to be on the safe side"

"Yes, thank you... do you want to take him right now?"

"Yes, I do. Amelia says it's okay to move him and she will be waiting for me in radiology in order to go and get another CT scan as well"

"All right, sounds good. I'll be here waiting for you" she took a seat, Alex right by her side.

"A broken leg is not too bad" he said when Callie left the room "my dad broke my ankle when I was eleven" he confided.

Her eyes glistening with unshed tears she tried to focus on Alex's words "I know it's not too bad, I just wish he would wake up and Callie could explain to him what is going on, instead of telling me, you know?"

"Yeah, I get it"

"I'm sorry about what happened with your dad" she added.

"Oh well, he was a douche... doesn't really matter anyway"

"It does to me, I'm sorry he made you suffer"

"Thanks, I'm just glad it's all in the past now"

"Do you wish things had gone differently?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah, maybe... I don't really know. He screw us all up so bad and I don't know if I would have really forgiven him if I had the chance"

"I understand, sometimes I wonder if my mom would have been a good grandmother and... well, it's not like I'll ever know, but I still think about it, what would she say about the life I'm living?"

"I'm sure she would be proud, you have it all Meredith. You succeeded where she could not; you have a job you're great at, but you also have a husband you love and great kids..."

"You really think that?"

"I do and so should you"

* * *

When Carolyn Shepherd arrived at Grey Sloane Memorial she went straight to the ER, hoping to find somebody who could point her to her son's room. Luckily enough she came face to face with the trauma doctor she had met the last time she was in this hospital, back when it was still called Seattle Grace.

"Mrs. Shepherd, is that you?"

"Yes... Dr. Hunt, is it?"

He just nodded "I'll take you to Derek's room" he proposed pointing towards the elevators.

"That would be very nice of you"

"If you just follow me..." he gave her a weak smile "how was the flight?"

"Long... do you have any update on him?"

"They did another CT scan and it came back clear which means that the hematoma was removed completely, they also did an x-ray to his left leg and he was put in a cast" he said, his voice remorseful.

"What did he fracture?" she asked as they arrived on the ICU floor.

"Both his tibia and fibula, Dr. Torres is confident he will make a full recovery though..." he motioned for her to follow him at the end of the all and they arrived in front of room 3607 where she could spot her only son laying on the hospital bed, his wife right beside him and some other doctors in the room.

"Meredith" she tentatively said.

"Oh Mrs. Shepherd..." she turned to look at her, letting go of Derek's hand "I'm glad you could come here on such short notice"

"Don't even mention it" she said giving her daughter-in-law a hug, which she returned albeit weakly "how is he doing?" she asked after she had released her.

"He's hanging in there... Amelia is confident he will wake up, the CT scan came back clean, the intra-cranial pressure is still slowly decreasing and his vitals look good. He had to be put in a cast, as you can see"

Carolyn took a good look at her son. He seemed peaceful, she din't know if she could consider this a good sign or not. He had some scratches all over his body, but all in all he looked as handsome as usual.

"Did you get any sleep last night?"

"Not really..."

"I bet. How about the kids? Did someone help you out with them?"

Meredith nodded, pointing at Alex "they went home with him"

"They got a full night of sleep" Alex reassured them both "they're in daycare now " he added addressing Derek's mother.

"I figured it was better for them to keep up with their usual routine"

"Of course, this was the best plan... I'd like to go see them in a little while, if that's okay with you"

"Sure, we can go together and then you can go home with them tonight, Alex has a spare bedroom you can sleep in"

"I wouldn't want to be trouble"

"You won't be trouble at all, and besides... Derek and Meredith's house is too far from the city, it just makes more sense for you to come to my house, since we won't convince her to leave the hospital until he wakes up" Alex explained matter-of-factly.

"Okay then, sounds like a plan"

* * *

The following morning Meredith met up with Carolyn and the kids in the cafeteria for breakfast.

"Mama! We had a sweepover with Nana and uncle Alex and Jo!" Zola ran towards her talking excitedly.

"You did?!"

"Yup and we had hot cocoa before bed" she confided giggling.

"How did you manage to get them to sleep if you fed them chocolate?" Meredith marveled at her mother-in-law.

"They were really excited about the sleepover actually and after we were done drinking they sort of collapsed"

"Mama up!" Bailey demanded her attention and she bent over to pick him up and hold him in her arms.

After breakfast the two women took the kids to daycare and went back to Derek's room where Meredith had spent the night.

"Any changes?" was Carolyn's question once they were out of the daycare.

"Not really, he's still stable. Amelia says it might take a while for him to wake up..."

"Okay then, we'll wait together..." Carolyn placed a hand on her shoulders.

* * *

Right around lunchtime when the two women were still hanging out in Derek's room soft footsteps could be heard as a third person joined them in the room.

"I thought you were supposed to tell him to be awake by the time I got here..." Cristina's remark caught them by surprise.

"You're already here!" Meredith was a little surprised.

"Of course I am" Cristina enveloped her in a hug.

"I thought you didn't hug..."

"Shut up, I'm still your person!"

"Thanks for being here..."

**So Mama Shepherd and Cristina are in Seattle; sorry for having Derek still unconscious, but it would be much too soon if he was awake only two days after the accident. Anyway, let me know what you thought of the second chapter.**


	3. All I need

**AN: Hi guys thanks again for all the comments, likes and followings, it's the only way that makes me understand that you are enjoying what I write. Sorry for the delay of the chapter, but real life was pretty busy in these past couple of weeks, plus this chapter was sort of important and I wanted to do a good job. I was sure Meredith was going to have another baby, so I wasn't surprised at all by that turn of event, it was actually pretty cruel if you ask me, her having another baby without Derek's support, but at least Ellis is something to remember him by. I miss Derek like crazy; thank goodness for fanfiction world. Here is the third installment of the story.**

_All I need_

Having Cristina back in Seattle was weird, in the sense that it wasn't weird at all, at least according to Meredith. In fact it made perfect sense for Cristina to be by her side in this rough moment.

"Are there any updates?" was Cristina's first question.

"Not really, he's still slowly improving and he broke his tibia and fibula, so Callie has him in a cast"

"How are you doing Mere? Are you taking care of yourself?"

"That's what I'm worried about as well" Carolyn piped in.

"I'm fine, I'm not the one laying on a hospital bed hooked up to hundreds of machines"

"Did you sleep at all?" Cristina decided to ignore the fact that Meredith had just said she was _fine_. In Meredith Grey's world, the word fine had just about the opposite meaning that it had for everyone else.

"A little last night..."

"And you are eating, right?"

"Yes, I am. Alex and Carolyn and the rest of them are making sure of it" she reassured her person.

"Okay..." she took a long look at Derek's sleeping form and she sat down next to Meredith "we'll just have to wait for him to wake up then" she added, taking Meredith's hand in hers "too bad your husband is pretty hardheaded"

"He's always been like that, even as a little boy" Carolyn smiled at them both " I remember this one time, it was Christmas Eve and he was five years old and adamant to stay up and meet Santa and his reindeers. His father and I kept checking up on him, but he was so stubborn that he only fell asleep, sprawled on the stairs at 4 a.m. We had to rush down and set out all the presents for the kids and take him to bed. I don't even remember how Christopher convinced his sisters to wait for him to be up and open the presents all together...that was just one of the many times he proved us how stubborn he could be"

"Wow, he never told me that… Zola tried to stay up and wait for Santa as well last Christmas, but she was out like a light by eleven o' clock" Meredith gave a weak smile back "I was pretty stubborn as a child as well, looks like our kids' teenage years will be like a ride in the park"

"I'm afraid so" Carolyn placed a hand on her shoulder and smiled again.

* * *

Later in the day Callie arrived in the room to update Meredith and Carolyn on Derek's leg, Owen hot on her tail "hey... is this a good moment to talk about his broken leg?" she asked not noticing Cristina at first.

"Yeah, good as any other"

"Oh my gosh, Cristina! You're here!" Callie went and hugged her.

"Torres, you know I don't hug" Cristina was quick to complain.

"That's just too bad"

Owen picked that exact moment to enter the room, coming face to face with his estranged ex-wife "oh, you're here..." his tone surprised, his eyes looked like they were about to pop out from his head.

"Of course I am..."

"Well, I was going to talk to you about the leg" Callie interrupted the awkward silence looking at Meredith and Carolyn.

"We'll give you some privacy" Owen was quick to jump at the chance and motioned for Cristina to follow him out of the door.

Once they were out in the hall the two shared an uncomfortable look. They hadn't seen each other in almost a year, they hadn't talked to each other since the last time they had been in the same city. Here they were, looking at each other after eleven whole months.

"So... how are you doing?" he finally asked, breaking the silence.

"Good, moving to Switzerland was definitely the right choice for me and my career. We're working on new techniques to improve cardio thoracic surgery and make it less invasive. I'm busy with cutting-edge surgery almost every day... the hospital is one of the go-to-places in the entire continent when it comes to heart surgery. Shane is also proving to be a great resident, he has a bright future ahead of him"

"That's good, I'm happy to hear that" he gave her a weak smile.

"I do miss this place, though..." she confessed after another pause "I miss Seattle, this hospital, I miss Meredith, Shepherd and the kids... I miss you, hell, I even miss Karev!"

"We miss you too... at least I know I do" he confessed.

"How are you doing?" she asked changing the subject.

"I'm good... busy, being chief is still a pain in the butt"

"I remember that... you never really liked it too much"

"It's not being chief per se... it's all of the paperwork, I feel like I'm spending all my time buried in paperwork, I did not go to med school for this" he grinned.

"I'm glad I don't have much paperwork to do, I can delegate a lot of it to my assistant, it can be pretty handy"

"I wish I could do the same" he lamented.

Just as they were both thinking hard about some other topic to talk about the door opened and Callie came out, effectively getting in between them "I'm done with the update and I gotta run into surgery... how long are you staying for?"

"A couple of weeks at least, but it depends from his recovery" Cristina pointed vaguely at the room from which Callie had just gotten out.

"Good, then we'll have time to catch up"

"Definitely, how's Sofia by the way?"

"She's great... tell you what, we can have dinner together with the kids tonight, what do you say?"

"Sounds good, it might be the only way to get her out of Derek's room" she reflected.

"I agree... I can get the kids from daycare around six and we can go for pizza"

"Sounds good, I'll tell Mere"

"See you later" Callie waved as she sprinted towards the elevators and the other two went back to the sterile room.

"What did Callie say?" it was Owen who asked the question.

"He has a stable fracture to both bones, which is why she put him in a cast, he' s going to wear it for 12 to 16 weeks and then he'll have to do physical therapy to regain the range of ankle and knee movement and restore mobility and strength in the leg lost during the immobilization period, she's positive he will make a full recovery"

"That's great news" Cristina smiled at her _person_.

"It definitely is" Carolyn nodded.

"When is Amelia coming over to check up on him?" it was again Owen who spoke.

"She should be here after she's done with her craniotomy" Meredith's voice sounded tired as expected.

"Want me to go get you a coffee or something?" he asked, looking concerned.

"Yeah, I'd like that.."

"I'll go get something for all of you" he proposed, turning and leaving the room.

Just as promised Amelia was back to check up on her brother right after she was done with surgery; his values had improved some more and she told Meredith that if he kept on getting better she was going to be able to take him off the ventilator during the next 48 hours. After this good news Cristina and Carolyn were able to convince her to get up and go get lunch in the cafeteria, followed by a quick visit to the kids in daycare.

* * *

That evening, as planned, Callie went to get the kids and met up with Meredith and Cristina in the lobby a little after 6 o' clock; Carolyn was going to stay in Derek's room while they were out for dinner, since Meredith was going to spend another night watching over him.

"Auntie Tina!" Zola exclaimed excitedly running towards the two women as she spotted her mom's best friend, followed suit by Sofia.

"Hi girls! I missed you"

"So did we" Sofia was quick to answer as they both hugged the surgeon.

" 'member my brother? He's bigger" Zola pointed at the blond haired boy who was snuggling with his mom.

"Of course I do, maybe he does not though..." she closed the distance between them and smiled at the wide-eyed boy "hi Bailey"

"Hi" he said solemnly burrowing his head into his mother's neck.

"I fink he likes you" Sofia grinned.

They found Alex in the parking lot and invited him to join them, he agreed since he had absolutely no desire to go back to an empty house, as both Jo and Arizona were on call that night, and Meredith's kids would only get there later on with Carolyn once she had left the hospital.

Half an hour later they were settled at a long table in their favorite pizza place, Aldo's.

"Mama, can I have peperoni on my piza?" Zola was quick to ask, as soon as they were handed menus by their server.

"You didn't like them the last time you tried them" Meredith reminded her, settling Bailey in a high chair and handing him his sippy cup filled with apple juice.

"Mmmh, dat's right Mama... but I wanna try again" she smiled sweetly at her and Meredith found herself smiling back "here is what we can do, sweetie... your uncle Alex always gets pepperoni on his pizza, you can ask him for a slice, what do you say?"

"Good idea mama..." Zola grinned and she turned towards Alex who was sitting next to her, Sofia on his other side, "hey Uncle Alex! Can I have some of your piza?"

"Of course you can... as long as I can have a slice of yours" he grinned back at her.

"Can I too Alex?" Sofia was quick to add her request.

"Of course you can"

The waiter came back for their drink orders in that moment and everyone concentrated on the menu to pick out their pizza.

Cristina was updating the others on her life in Switzerland when their pizzas arrived "one definite plus sign about living in Switzerland is that it's exactly in the middle of Europe, I've already visited France, Italy, Austria, Germany and England since I've moved there"

"That sounds really cool, don't you agree Sofia? We should go visit Auntie Cristina in the summer, what do you think?"

"Yay!" Sofia's exclamation was greeted by a chorus of laughter.

"Can we go too, Mama?" Zola's question caught Meredith by surprise.

"I don't know baby girl... we need to see if Daddy can take time off in the summer" she tried to be as honest as possible with the little girl, she couldn't fathom the thought of telling her and Bailey that daddy was in a hospital bed at the moment and she didn't know when and if he was going to wake up.

"When is Daddy coming home?" asked Zola in a small voice.

Meredith was too shocked to answer at first, she quickly composed herself and tried her best to give Zola a smile "I don't know sweetie, you know he is working in Washington at the moment, right?" the girl nodded and her mom kept on going "We just have to wait for him" she said, hoping with all herself that her husband was going to wake up as soon as possible. She didn't want to take the kids to visit him while he was still unconscious.

"He needs to come back soon or he won't see Nana and Auntie Cristina" Zola's voice was so small that they almost couldn't make out what she had said.

"I know that sweetie" was her mother's only answer.

"I'll make sure to stay until he comes back and I'm sure your Nana will do the same… after all, your daddy is her son and I'm sure she'll want to see him" Cristina reassured the little girl who gave her a weak smile, when she saw that Zola was not entirely convinced she added "you can come visit me whenever you want, it doesn't have to be in the summer"

Zola finally gave her aunt a full smile "okay" she agreed, after Zola concentrated on her pizza once more it was Meredith's turn for giving Cristina a grateful smile.

"Hey, how do you like your pepperoni pizza girls?" Alex changed topic smiling at the two kids sitting next to him.

"I like it!" Sofia was quick to answer "I thought peperoni was s'posed to be spicy like chilly, but chilly is more spicy" she added.

"Yeah, I like it too" Zola added after she was done munching on a bite.

"Good! Next time I babysit you guys we can order one big pepperoni pizza just for the three of us" he proposed.

"What about mah brother?"

"I don't think he would like it yet, too spicy for him"

"Yeah sweetie, your brother is not even two years old, let's wait a little more to start feeding him spicy food" Meredith's explanation was both gentle and firm, accompanied by a smile and Zola was quick to agree.

* * *

The rest of dinner was fun, it passed by in between laughters and shared memories; Meredith forgot about her fears for a while and she found herself happy to have agreed to dinner out, the kids were clearly thrilled as well and that was the most important thing. Once they went back to the hospital the three kids were all asleep and she and Cristina went to call Carolyn while Alex was putting the kids in their car-seats.

"Are you sure you don't want to go home and get a good night of sleep?" Carolyn was insisting on being the one to spend the night at the hospital.

"No, I wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything, not even the kids, if I left this hospital room for the night... you go home with them, they love spending time with you and it doesn't happen that often, so they should cherish every moment" she reassured her mother in law.

"Okay, I'll be back first thing in the morning then... call me if there are any updates, even in the middle of the night, all right?"

"Yes, I will"

"Good night dear" she bid her farewell and started exiting the room, coming face to face with Cristina near the door "are you coming to Alex's place with us?" she asked.

"I wanted to stay here with Meredith, actually..."

"No Cristina, you just got here today, after a very long flight... you should go back with them and rest..."

"I don't want you to stay here by yourself" she whispered.

"I'll be fine, I promise to call if anything happens..."

"Even if it's 3 a.m.?" she challenged.

"Even if it's 3 a.m." she nodded.

"Okay then, I'm actually kind of tired and a good night sleep would do me good" she reasoned.

"I'll see you both tomorrow morning... I'm sure Amelia will be by as well, she's on call tonight, since there is a shortage of neurosurgeons"

"All right, we'll see you for breakfast, dear" Carolyn gave her a hug.

"Try to get some sleep" was Cristina's advice.

"I will, the nurses put in a second bed for me... I'll be more comfortable than the previous nights"

Cristina still didn't look convinced, but she was tired "okay then, we'll see you in the morning... call if anything happens, I mean it"

"I know and I will"

* * *

After this day Meredith entered a sort of routine. She spent her nights in Derek's room, alternating some sleep with watching over Derek, she then had breakfast with Carolyn and her kids before taking them to daycare for the morning, while she went back to her husband's room to get the latest updates. She went back to pick them up around 12 o' clock to have lunch with them in the cafeteria, usually along with Cristina and Alex. After taking the kids back to daycare for the afternoon and retrieving back to Derek's room, she organized for somebody to pick them up and they went out for dinner. Zola was still asking about her dad of course, but she still managed to stall her, wishing and hoping he kept on improving. Amelia had been able to remove him from the ventilator on the fourth day after the accident and he had been breathing on his own. His values were also in the norm and his skin color was getting better. These were the positive thoughts she was focusing on while sitting by his side on the seventh night after the crash.

"You need to wake up Derek... I miss you so much" she whispered feeling almost as silly as the time she had built the house of candles and he was late "Zola keeps asking for you and Bailey... well, he's just confused... we need you, Derek" she took his left hand in between hers and kissed his fingertips slowly. She was staring intently at his handsome face and she lost track of time, it could have been mere seconds or minutes, she wasn't sure. What she was sure of, was that she saw his eyes flicker, he felt him take a breath and then she found herself staring into his blue eyes.

"Derek... are you awake?" she felt tears in her eyes.

"Mer... Meredith" was his feeble answer as tears of joy streamed down her face.

**Sorry for leaving you guys like that, but this chapter was pretty long and chapter four is being written already. I've decided that the best plan for me is updating once a week, more often if I have the time. Let me know what you thought of this chapter. Derek is finally awake, yay! **


	4. Lights will guide you home

**AN: As per usual I want to thank you for the reviews, the likes and the followings, I wish I could answer to all of you, but you need to log on in order for me to answer. Here is chapter four, hope you'll like it.**

_Lights will guide you home_

Hearing his voice calling her name caused goose bumps to form all over her entire body "hi" she whispered, bending down to kiss him softly on the cheek.

"Hi" his voice was rasp.

"I missed you so much" she confessed, tears streaming softly down her face, exhaustion clear on her features.

"Wh… what happened?" he asked slowly.

"Let me inform the nurses you're awake, first" she gave him a quick smile and pressed the button used to call up the nurses' station. Less than two minutes later the nurse on call for the night entered the room "is everything okay Dr. Grey?" she asked.

"Yes Marla, everything is fine… Dr. Shepherd is awake" she explained, unable to stop the grin forming on her face.

"This is great news, I'll inform Dr. Hunt" she smiled back and left the room.

Meredith turned her concentration back on Derek "are you thirsty?" she asked, he merely nodded and she handed him a bowl full of ice chips "do you prefer water or ice chips?"

"Ice chip" he mumbled as she offered him a piece of the hardened liquid.

"Feeling better?" she asked after he had sipped on it for a little while.

He nodded and stared intently at her "what happened?" he asked clearer than before "I don't remember" he went on.

"You were in an accident" she said softly, taking his left hand in hers "you've been unconscious for almost a week. You had a subdural hematoma, your left tibia and fibula are broken and you had hematoma in your second, third, fourth and fifth ribs, you needed time to heal" he nodded, feeling pain all over his body "they took you off ventilation on the fourth day after the accident and you've been breathing on your own ever since" she added proudly.

"Zola?" he asked.

"She's good, sleeping I hope... she will be by with Bailey in the morning"

"Okay" he nodded giving her a weak smile.

That's how Owen and Alex found them, eyes locked, huge smiles on both of their faces "hey, it was about time!" Owen was grinning, just like Alex who got immediately by Meredith's side "glad to see you awake, man"

"Thanks Alex" he murmured.

"So, how do you feel?" Owen stood on the other side of the bed, looking at Derek.

"Like I was in a crash" he tried to be funny and the other three cracked a laugh.

They were still laughing and talking when Amelia joined them, about fifteen minutes later; Derek looked up seeming a little taken aback "Amy?"

"Why do you look so surprised, bro? You didn't think I'd come check up on my own brother?" she grinned.

"No, it's nice of course..." he still looked puzzled.

"How do you feel?" she asked getting close to the bed.

"Not too bad, but my chest hurts like hell and my head feels really confused..."

"It's completely normal after what you've been through" she reassured him "I'll take you for a CT and an MRI to see how that big head of your is doing"

"Sounds good..." it was Meredith who answered, holding onto his hand "can I come along?"

"Of course you can"

"Do you work here, sis?" Derek's question was accompanied by a vague grin and it took everybody by surprise.

"What is the last thing you remember, Derek?" Amelia sounded genuinely concerned.

"I remember being rescued from the plane crash..." he looked up at four worried faces "we were brought to a hospital in Idaho, Lexie didn't make it" he added painfully.

"Okay" Amelia nodded, trying to look calm "what year is it?" she asked.

"It's 2012, May to be exact"

The other four just looked at him, not speaking "what's wrong?" he asked when the silence went on for too long.

"I'm sorry Derek, but it's April 2015... it seems like you're suffering from retrograde amnesia" was his sister's answer.

He turned to look at Meredith, fear clear in his blue eyes "you know it's temporary" she tried to reassure him, squeezing his left hand.

"Yeah, I know..." he quietly answered back "but right now I'm missing three years of my life... of our lives?" he couldn't keep the hurt out of his voice.

"Your trauma was severe, Derek... it's very likely that you will regain your memories soon enough" his sister tried to calm him.

"Likely, not sure..." was his grim response.

"Well, you just woke up, give it time" Alex tried to reason with him.

"Sure... there is not much else I can do" he retorted.

"It will be okay" Meredith bent down to give him a kiss on the lips, melting into his touch when he responded to the kiss.

"Are you up for that CT scan and the MRI?" asked Amelia when they broke the kiss.

"Yes I am..." he gave his sister a smile "so, do you work here now?" he asked again.

"You bet I do... I've been working here for ten months and crashing at your house"

"Seriously?"

"Apparently we're still a magnet for strays" was his wife's answer.

"I had no doubt" he answered lightly as the three of them left the room, going to radiology.

* * *

After the exams were done and looked at by both Derek and his sister, Amelia was even more confident that Derek was going to regain his memories.

"We need to understand how far your memory loss goes, but you already know this..."

He nodded, looking at his sister "maybe I can work on it with Meredith, if you want, that is"

"Of course, I took time off f work in order to stay with you" she told her husband "I think you need some sleep first, it's 4 . We'll work on your memory loss when it's not dark outside" she added seeing his eyes grow heavy with sleep.

He agreed without putting up much of a fight, falling asleep almost istantly, leaving Meredith and Amelia time to talk.

"Do you really think he will regain his memories?"

"I'm positive, Mere. Probably not tomorrow, it might take him a few weeks, or months, but you saw the scans as well, the hematoma didn't leave any permanent damage, I'm convinced he will regain his full memory and he will go back to being the annoying hard-headed neurosurgeon we know"

"Okay" she nodded looking at his sleeping form.

"You should get some sleep as well, you look exhausted and I'm pretty sure there will be some really excited kids here around breakfast time" she grinned.

"Yeah, your mom was really happy as well"

"He is her only son..."

"What should I do about Bailey?" she asked as Amelia was leaving the room.

"You should definitely tell him about the little guy... I wish I could be here to look at his face when you tell him, I bet he'll be overjoyed"

"Yeah... I still remember his face when I told him we were going to have another baby" she reminisced.

"The important thing is that he's finally awake. Even if he won't regain all of his memories the important thing is that you'll get to make new ones..."

"Yeah, I know... I had almost lost hope" she confessed.

"Get some sleep, Mere" Amelia gave her a hug and she left the room.

* * *

Around seven thirty the following morning Meredith and Derek were busy trying to understand how far back his memory loss went.

"Looks like it's only concentrated in the last three years" she told him.

"With retrograde amnesia that's usually the case" he muttered.

"Hey, no grumpiness..." she tried to cheer him up "we're going to solve this"

"I hope... I can't believe I'm missing three years of my life, of our lives together, of Zola's life..."

"You will get those memories back... it will probably take some time and maybe you won't regain all of them, but you will remember these last three years" she comforted him.

"Thanks for being by my side..." he smiled brightly at her, giving her his signature _McDreamy smile._

"I need to tell you something" she added a little while after.

"What?"

"I know you're supposed to try and regain all your memories by yourself, but there is something I really need to tell you..."

"Do I need to worry?"

"No, of course no!"

"Well, do tell me"

"Remember when you first asked about Zola after you woke up?" she was trying to stall, but he merely nodded and she had to go on "I told you that she was okay and she was going to be here with Bailey in the morning, remember?"

"Of course I remember, I only have retrograde amnesia thankfully" he tried to joke.

"Well..." she toyed nervously with her hands, looking at them.

"What is it?" he coaxed her sweetly.

"Bailey is not Miranda Bailey... he's our son" she finally whispered.

"We have a son?" his tone was both excited and disbelieving.

"We do... he's almost two years old"

"And I don't even remember him... what a screwed-up situation" he shook his head sadness feeling his eyes.

"It doesn't matter now, what really matters is that you're awake now and you will get to see them grow up, your memories of him will be back... he looks just like you" she smiled at him.

"Like me?" he paused for a moment, then he went on "does that mean that he's our son, biologically speaking?"

"Yes he is, he's our little miracle" she clarified.

"Wow..." he grinned.

"Yeah, wow" she agreed.

"We have two kids..." he said, the grin planted firmly on his face.

"We do and you were trying to convince me to have a third" she grinned back.

"Sounds like a great idea... if Bailey looks like me we need a little girl who looks just like you"

She burst out laughing, closing the distance separating them, kissing him fully on the mouth.

* * *

That's how Carolyn, Cristina and the kids found them, laughing hard and staring into one another's eyes.

"Hey you two, there are two minors here!" was Cristina's first comment, interrupted by two pair of excited feet running towards their parents.

"Daddy!" Zola couldn't contain her excitement as she reached the bed, were her dad was sitting.

"Hi princess!" he grinned at her as Meredith helped her to sit on the bed, the two shared a bear hug and the little girl beamed at her dad.

"I missed you... you slept for a verrrry long time, daddy"

Just as Derek answered his little girl "I missed you too, sweetie" Meredith bent down to pick up Baily and settled him on the bed as well.

"Hey Bailey" he said hello to his son, mesmerized by his features.

"Hi dada" the 22 month old closed the distance between him and his dad to give Derek a sloppy kiss.

Derek felt tears prickling his eyes as he looked at his perfect family, huddled on his hospital bed, he looked into Meredith's eyes and mouthed her "I love you"

"I love you too" she whispered back, just as he spotted his mother.

"Hey ma, you're here as well?"

"Of course I am. Meredith and the kids needed me just as much as you" she closed the distance between the door and the bed and got on the opposite side of Meredith, giving her son a kiss on the cheek.

"How are you feeling?" it was Cristina who asked.

"Like I got run over by a train" he muttered.

"Did a twain run you over, daddy?" Zola sounded concerned.

"No pumpkin, daddy was in a car accident" Meredith placed a hand on her daughter's back.

"Sorry you was hurt daddy" Zola gave him a kiss.

"I'll be okay, baby girl" he reassured her, hugging both of his kids close to him.

**So, Derek has memory loss. Don't hate him, this was my plan all along. Him regaining his memories will be a fun ride, so bear with him, I have big plans. Hope you'll leave me a nice review. Chapter five will be posted next weekend. **


	5. I will try to fix you

**AN: As per usual you guys totally rock. I get as giddy as a kid on Christmas morning when I see new reviews were left on the story, so thanks a lot for those and for the favorites and followings of course. I'm glad you decided to keep up with the story even with the memory loss. Here is chapter five, enjoy!**

_I will try to fix you_

Meredith was only able to finally convince the kids to go to Daycare for the morning by promising them lunch together in daddy's room. They were both excited to spend time with Derek and she found herself even more grateful and emotional that he had woken up. When she got back into Derek's room he had his eyes closed and, for a moment, she thought he had fallen asleep again, but he opened them as soon as he heard the door shut behind her.

"You're back" he murmured.

"Yeah, I managed to leave them in Daycare, but I need to go pick them up by 12:15 or I'm sure Zola will ry to run away from there!" she grinned.

"Feisty, just like her mama!" he grinned back.

She laughed out loud "she might be feisty like me, but she definitely inherited your charm smile, she can make us do anything she want..."

"Can she, really?" he hated the fact that he didn't remember everything there was to know regarding his kids, but having Meredith telling him about them was almost as good.

"She definitely can, a little before Bailey was born she had us drink imaginary tea with her and her stuffed animals and you were in a princess crown" she fished for the phone in her purse and scrolled through pictures "here, I still have a photo of us" she handed the cell phone to him and saw his whole face lit up as he stared at the selfie the two of them had taken with Zola, Meredith was obviously heavily pregnant and the three of them were sporting identical grins.

"I'm totally rocking the princess crown" he smugly commented.

"That you do, but I must say that I look awesome in the tiger headband!" she agreed.

"You definitely do" he agreed quickly.

"Bailey inherited your charm smile as well... Cristina calls him _Mini McDreamy_"

"He has your nose, though" he rebutted.

"Thank goodness" she giggled and he found himself laughing with her, her laughter was infectious and carefree and he suddenly realized that both of his kids had also inherited her laugh "they both have your laughter" he added as the two of them kept on laughing.

When the laughter subsided he locked eyes with her "tell me more about him. When was he born?"

"He was born on June 7th; his second birthday will be in 6 weeks"

"Was I with you during the birth?"

"Yes you were although, after he was born, there were some slight complications..."

"Like what?"

"Nothing wrong with Bailey, but after you went with him in the NICU, in order to have Alex check up on him, my gynecologist had to go help with another birth and, to cut the story short, Miranda Bailey was the one who saved my life, when I had an internal bleeding... this is the reason we called him just like her" she explained.

"I'm glad I don't remember this. I hate to see you in pain" he honestly answered.

"Everything went fine in the end" she reassured him "here's another thing you don't know about him, yet... his middle name is Derek"

"Wow, that's really cool... too bad Zola's middle name is not Meredith, though"

"It sort of made sense to have her middle name be Caroline, since it's both your mom's first name and Lexie's middle name" her answer was quiet, reminiscing about the time they picked Zola's full name, since she was only given a first name in the orphanage.

"I'm glad we gave her that middle name. Lexie was a wonderful aunt for our little girl and she was a great woman..."

"Just like your mom"

He nodded, taking her right hand into his left one "I can't believe it's been three years"

"I still miss her everyday" she mumbled.

"I totally understand" he squeezed her hand trying to comfort her.

"I know you do... it's just that you not remembering is taking me back" she tried to explain.

He nodded "I have a question, I've been wondering about this ever since I woke up..." his voice was tentative.

"Go ahead"

"Where is Mark?" he asked after a short pause.

She gasped, squeezing his hand back "oh... that's right, you don't remember" she muttered.

He looked at her questioningly, a sense of dread already filling his heart.

"When they finally came to save us after the plane crash he was in shock. The surgery we performed on him to cure his cardiac tamponade while we were stranded in the woods couldn't save him. He was in a coma for a month... he awoke suddenly, but then he got worse once more and Callie, and you, decided to take him off of life support" her voice was barely audible.

"I had a feeling..." he reassured her, his eyes moist with unshed tears "I cannot say that I remembered him being dead, but I knew that something had to have been wrong, or else he would have been here, by my side..." he tried to explain to her.

"Yes he would have" she reassured him "I still cannot believe he won't see his daughter grow up"

"Yeah..." he was quick to agree.

"I'm glad Zola and Bailey won't have to go through this suffering. I couldn't stop worrying about this, as I watched over you, when you were in a coma" she added quietly.

"Sorry about that" his tone was sheepish, he placed a hand on her cheek, caressing her face slowly "I think this was sort of a wake up call, you know? I don't want to waste any more time, life is short and we owe it to ourselves to live it to the fullest"

"I agree"she nodded, covering his hand with her smaller one "we'll do our best to help you regain your memories, but who cares if you won't retrieve them all. We'll just make new ones, better than the ones you lost!" she bent down kissing him fully on the mouth.

"I really like your plan" he answered as soon as the kiss had ended leaving them breathless, their faces only inches apart "does it involve more kissing?" he asked wiggling his eyebrows seductively.

"It definitely does!" she giggled, kissing him once again.

"I'm all for the kissing" he giggled as well, taking her back to the beginning of their love story, to their bickering in the hospital's elevator so many years ago. So much had changed, but so many things were still the same. Their complicity, their deep affection and their love for one another were intact and actually even deeper now that they had become parents and they shared those feelings with two little ones.

Derek was moved out of the ICU after on the third day after he had woken up. He was brought in the neurosurgery ward, in order for Amelia and the rest of the team to be able to check up on him constantly. He was feeling better everyday, he was less tired since he was managing to sleep through the night and he wasn't in as much pain as he had been when he had first woken up. After he had settled in his new room he was finally able to convince Meredith that she didn't need to spend all her nights in the hospital with him, their kids needed her just as much. Owen had no problem with her enjoying some time off to take care of Derek, since the last time she had taken any was when Bailey was born.

"Don't get me wrong Mere, I love the fact that you're taking such great care of me, but I'm worried about you" he slowly explained to her.

"I'm not the one that was involved in a car accident and was in a coma for a week!"

"I know that, but I'm in the neuro ward, they're not going to let anything happen to me overnight, I know these people, I've been working with them for years" he reassured her.

"It's just that..." she paused, collecting her thoughts "I felt so helpless when those policemen came over to our house and told me about the accident... I don't think I can go back there without you. I've been sending Alex and Cristina over to take stuff I need for us and the kids... I haven't been back there in ten days" she confessed.

He looked at her for a long time before finally answering "I know it must be hard for you, Mere, but I'm not going anywhere"

"You can't promise me that" she whispered "you said to wait for you and that you were going to be back soon and then I was brought to a tiny secluded hospital where I didn't even know if they had done everything in their power to save you"

It finally hit him hard, this was the reason she wasn't letting him out of her sight "I cannot even imagine what you went through, but just know this... I will do my best to stick to my original plan for us"

"Your original plan?"

"Yes, I want to die when I'm 110 years old in your arms" he reminded her, his beautiful smile gracing his features.

"Oh, yeah... that was your plan, right" she was able to give a weak smile back, tears flowing down her face.

"It's no joke for me, Meredith" his tone was serious now "what we have is special and I don't want to do anything to jeopardize it"

"I believe you"

"You really do?"

"Yeah, I really do" she finally gave him a full smile.

"Does that mean that you'll go home with the kids after dinner tonight?"

She nodded "yeah, but I'll go with them and your mom to Alex's house I really don't feel ready to go to our house yet... it doesn't feel like home without you"

"Okay then, it's settled, we'll go home together once I'm released" he was quick to agree.

"Do you think I'm foolish?" she asked.

"I just think I love you and I cannot understand what you had to go through and I hope I never will have to. If waiting for me to be with you before going home makes you feel better, then I don't see why we shouldn't do that"

"Thanks" she said, placing a quick kiss on his lips.

"You don't have to thank me for this" he reassured her.

"I feel like I do..." she smiled at him, kissing him once more.

"Oh well, if you feel like you must" his tone was playful, his smile bright.

She just nodded and closed the distance between them.

"_Is that is? Is that everything you have to say?" _

"_That's all there is to say. I've told you everything, the whole story all of it, but if you want, I'll go through it all again"  
"And she's your research fellow?"_

"_Yes"  
"Just your research fellow?"  
"So, what do you do with that piece, Meredith?"  
"I wish I could believe you"  
"You can. I'm here"  
"I know how this works. I was your resident once..."_

He was wide awake, his heart pounding in his chest and he was really confused. Could this have been a memory? He passed a hand on his face, grumbling slowly and he looked at the time, it was almost 6 a.m. It meant that she was going to be here in less than two hours and he could ask her about this weird memory he just had, but was he going to? It had come quickly to him, just as he was waking up from a deep sleep and now it was clear in his mind, he remembered every word perfectly, but most of all he remembered her harsh tone and he didn't like that. He didn't know how long he had been thinking about that dream, but he found his sister staring at him at some point.

"Derek? Is everything all right?"

"When did you get here?" he asked back.

"A few moments ago... are you okay?" she seemed worried.

"I'm good..."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes Amy, I'm sure... I think I just remembered something" he explained.

"Really? That's awesome news!" she grinned at her brother.

"I'm not so sure about that, it's a very weird memory"

"Care to explain?"

"Meredith and I were having a fight, I think. We weren't yelling or anything, but she looked miserable and she wasn't believing what I was telling her..."

"Maybe it wasn't a memory, it could have only been a dream" Amelia sat on the edge of his bed.

"I cannot be sure it wasn't a dream, but it felt different, I don't know how to explain myself..."

"I believe you" his sister was unsure about how to go on "you should maybe try to talk to Meredith about this memory" she finally added.

"I really didn't like this memory" his voice sounded harsher than he had intended.

"What was your discussion about?"

"It appeared to be about some research fellow of mine" he was dubious "have I been involved in research recently?"

"Well, you actually have been involved in research" she nodded.

"Have I really?" he sounded surprised "have you been helping me?"

"Uh..." she paused, not really wanting to tell him about the fact that he had gone to DC to work on the brain mapping project, but also knowing that he was bound to find out about it sooner or later "you have been involved in a project financed by the President himself" she finally added.

"The President?" he rose his eyebrows "are we talking about the President of the United States?"

"Yup, we're definitely talking about that guy" his sister's answer left him speechless and she went on giving him a half-smile "Meredith does say that you're pretty brainless to be a brain surgeon"

He was snapped out of his reverie "I've been working on a project financed by the White House?"

"Yes you have, Derek. They wanted the best in the country to work on a brain mapping project" she explained.

"Wow..." he paused briefly "have I been working on that here?" he asked, already expecting a negative answer.

"Of course not" she was shaking her head "you had been working in DC for almost three months already"

"Leaving my family here?" his tone was surprised and hurt.

"Well, Meredith didn't really give you a choice, she told you she didn't want to move to DC, because she was working on projects as well and those projects were here and she didn't want to move the kids so suddendly"

"I can't believe I've abandoned my family" he whispered after a while.

"You didn't abandon them, you've been going back and forth and on the day of the accident you were going to DC to resign, because you had decided that your family was more important than this project" Amelia took his hand into hers "you did not abandon your family, you and Meredith have worked really hard to keep it together even through the hard times"

"Okay..." he nodded squeezing her hand back "thank you for telling me. I'll talk to Meredith about this memory I had, I really hope I haven't done anything stupid" he sighed.

"It couldn't have been anything too serious, since she's been by your side constantly" his sister's tone was reassuring.

"It's good that you got your first memory back, anyway" she added "it probably means that you will get more of them in the coming days" she smiled.

"I hope better ones than the one I just got" he grimaced.

"Don't be a crybaby!" she punched him lightly on the shoulder, finally cracking a smile out of him.

"Do you want coffee? I can go get us some"

"That would be great sis" he opened the drawer on his bedside table and got a ten dollar bill "here, my treat... can you get me a soy latte?"

"Once a health-nut, always a health-nut!" she grinned grabbing the money and running out of the room.

Meredith went back to Derek's room as soon as the kids were in Daycare, she was was impatient to speak with her husband, he had seemed really upset when they had eaten breakfast with the kids.

"You're back" he gave her a weak smile, when he saw her getting inside the room.

"Yeah, the teacher told me to bring cookie supplies tomorrow, the older kids are learning to make chocolate chip cookies"

"Sounds fun, do they get to bring home some?"

"I suppose so... hopefully Zola has better skills than me in the kitchen" she grimaced.

"With the right teacher you would learn how to cook in a heartbeat" he winked at her.

"Is this a formal offer?"

"Why not, once I'll be released I won't be able to go back to work soon" he shrugged his shoulders.

"I'd like that" she smiled at him brightly.

"You should ask my mom for some lessons while she's in town, she's the best!"

"Maybe I will..." she sat down next to him "is everything all right, Derek?"

"Yeah, everything is fine"

"You seem weird"

"Well, I think I retrieved a memory..." he started to explain slowly.

"Really? That's great news!" her smile was radiant as she looked at him.

"Sure, we can say that, but..." he paused and she looked at him questioningly "what's wrong?"

"Did we ever had a fight about one research fellow?" he finally asked.

Meredith's smile fell as she sighed "we actually did" she confessed quietly.

"That's what the memory was about..." he futilely added "what did I do?"

"Well, she kissed you in DC..." her voice was barely audible.

"Oh my gosh, Meredith! I'm so sorry" he apologized.

"You already told me how sorry you were" she calmly answered.

"I wish I had remembered something else" he muttered a little while later.

"Hey, remember what we decided this morning? It doesn't matter what memories you'll get back, the plan is to make new ones, better ones... let's just forget about your research fellow, all right?" he nodded taking her hand and giving it a squeeze "what did I do to get so lucky?"

"You wore your good looking red shirt" she winked at him and he burst out laughing, propping himself up to place a kiss on her lips "I love you so much"

"I love you too, Derek and I'm unbelievably glad that you didn't die on me..."

"You and me both" he gathered her in his arms "I can't wait to be discharged and go back home with you and the kids"

"Amelia said that, if everything goes according to plan you'll be released in the next week"

"I hope so, I need to start teaching you how to cook" he winked at her and she winked back, grinning.

**Sorry about the slight delay of chapter 5, I have to say I'm really satisfied with it, hope you like it too. Derek got his first memory back, yay! I know it's not the best memory he could get back, but it served for them to talk about their relationship and see how much they had grown. Stay tuned for next chapter, I'll update next weekend! **


	6. Take me deeper now

**AN: As per usual I want to start my author note saying thank you for your ongoing support; you guys rock! Thanks for the comments, the likes and the favorites. I'm glad to see I wasn't the only one disappointed with the decision to break Meredith and Derek forever. Just a friendly reminder, I have no plan to ever get rid of either of them. Here is chapter six, enjoy!**

_Take me deeper now_

It had been two weeks. Fourteen days since the accident that could have left her a widow but, thankfully, did not. Derek was recovering nicely. Amelia was confident he was going to be able to go home soon enough. His cerebral functions were all intact and he was expected to make a full recovery. Meredith had come to an agreement with Owen, she was going to be on leave for another two weeks, making it a total of four. After the the month was up, if Derek was back home, she would be going back to work part-time at first and full time when he was further ahead with his recovery. Her salary would be cut back during the period where she worked part-time, but it was worth it and it was definitely the best decision for her family. Carolyn also told her that she was going to stay with them for as long as they needed her to. Meredith felt like she had deprived her of her youngest grandkids long enough. She was going to propose to Derek to host her for the entire summer, she would have been a great help for them and she was sure he was going to enjoy spending time with his mom just as much as the kids. With these thoughts filling her head she entered her husband's room, smiling and coming face to face with her sister in law.

"Hey" he smiled at her brightly, his midnight blue eyes sparkling, the infamous _McDreamy smile gracing his features_.

"Hey yourself" she smiled back "slept well?" she asked as she gave him a peck on the lips.

"Yeah, I did"

"Here, I brought the both of you coffee" she handed a cup to each Shepherd and sat down on his bed.

"Thanks" Amelia's voice was full of gratitude "it's been a long night, there was a pile-up on the freeway" she grimaced.

"Must have been tough" Meredith was sympathetic.

"It was, but we didn't lose anyone, so there's that to be happy about"

"It's always a beautiful day to save lives" his brother winked at her, drinking his coffee black.

The two women grinned at his antics "remind me why do you put up with this?" Amelia asked pointing at him, while grinning.

"It's totally because of the good looks" Meredith whispered, loud enough for him to hear her as well.

"Hey, I'm sick here and you make fun of me?"

"Oh, you poor baby!" his sister stuck out her tongue at him.

He pretended to sniffle and looked at his wife "where are the kids?"

"They should be here any minute, the wanted pancakes for breakfast and Zola remembered you love the french toast from the cafe right around the corner, so they stopped there to get breakfast for all of us, you included Amy"

"That was a genius idea!" her sister in law plopped down on the chair yawning.

"It was Zola's idea"

"That little girl is too smart for her own good" was Amelia's comment.

"She really is" mused Meredith.

"I can't believe how far we've come with her..." reminisced Derek "remember how small she was when she first arrived here with Alex?"

Meredith nodded and smiled "you fell in love with her in a matter of minutes" she murmured.

"How could I not? She was already perfect" he beamed.

"How old was she?" Amelia was curious.

"She was 6 months old when she was brought here to cure her spina bifida" Meredith was quick to answer, the memory of their first meeting still fresh in her mind "your brother felt an instant connection with her..."

"Yeah, she stole my lamp when I went to check her out on the very first day she was here. When I held her in my arms she stopped crying and... that was it" his train of thoughts was interrupted by a loud knock on the door "guess who?" his daughter's voice came out in between stifles of laughters.

"Oh, I don't know..." he paused to think "are you my kids?" he asked after a while.

"Yes!" they both yelled entering, followed by Carolyn.

"There you are!" he exclaimed as they scrambled his way, climbing on the bed, Bailey helped by Meredith.

"I missed you lots and lots, daddy" Zola confessed as she hugged him.

"You were here yesterday night, lovebug" he reminded her.

"But you was alone last night" she mumbled.

"Well I wasn't really alone, auntie Amy was in the hospital as well"

The little girl turned to look at Amelia "you stayed with daddy?" she asked, hope filling her voice.

"I sure did, but he slept all night... he wasn't really good company" she answered theatrically.

Both kids burst out laughing as Derek enveloped both in a bone-crushing hug "how are you, today?" he asked after he had released them.

"Good" Bailey was the first to answer, giving his dad a smile.

"Me too, we swept wif mama last night and she snores a lot" she giggled.

"Does she?" Derek feigned surprise, as Meredith swatted him on his left arm.

"Huh, huh" it was Bailey who nodded looking at his father.

"Breakfast is served guys!" Carolyn had set out everything on the table that was used to give Derek his meals. Both kids yelled enthusiastically as their grandmother pushed the table towards them.

"We buyed your favorite french toast, daddy" Zola pointed excitedly to the box containing two pieces of french toast layered with strawberries and blueberries, drenched in maple syrup.

"That was very sweet of you, guys" he grinned "I haven't had french toast in a very long time" he added as his mom handed him the to-go box.

"What do you want, Amy?" Meredith looked at her sister in law questioningly.

"Whatever is left is fine by me"

"There is french toast with maple syrup and berries, there is a stack of pancakes and even a couple of waffles..."

"Uhm... I don't know, it's a hard choice" Amelia was conflicted.

"How about we share?" Meredith's idea was met with a nod and the two women proceeded to divide the food, leaving some pancakes in a styrofoam box, so they would stay warm.

The family ate mostly in silence for the following minutes, Derek and the kids huddled on the bed, with Meredith sitting at the foot of the bed, while Carolyn and Amelia were on the chairs. The breakfast was interrupted by Alex, who knocked on the door and got in, to see how Derek was doing.

"Hi uncle Alex!" Zola waved happily as she munched on a bite of blueberry pancakes with maple syrup.

"Hi kiddos!" he grinned at the two kids.

"Hi unca Ales" Bailey waved, copying his big sister.

"I came by to see how your daddy was doing"

"He's good" Zola was quick to reply "auntie Amy says he sleeps lots and lots"

"Well, he needs the sleep to recover and go home with you guys"

"Don't you wanna share house with us?" she asked innocently.

"Of course I do, but I bet you miss your home and I'm sure your daddy will want to go there when he's all better"

"I do miss my room, sleeping with mama and Bailey is kinda funny" she giggled "they both snore"

"I don't!" Bailey's tone was resolute.

"Yes, you do!" Zola stuck out her tongue at him.

"You guys, behave..." Meredith stepped in to block a possible banter.

"Okay" they both answer concentrating on the food once more.

"How are you doing, man?"

"I'm feeling better, thanks... can't wait to go home, honestly"

"I bet" Alex sat on the last empty chair.

"Hey, do you want some pancakes?" Derek pointed to the still full box sitting on the table.

"I haven't had breakfast yet..." he mused "are you sure you guys are all set?"

"Have breakfast wif us, uncle Alex!" Zola yelled, just as Bailey nodded.

"Zola, honey... remember to use your inside voice when we're visiting daddy"

"Oopsie, sorry mama" Zola grinned, oblivious to the maple syrup smear covering her face.

"It's okay... finish your breakfast now, or we'll be late for Daycare"

"Can't we stay here?" she wined.

"No miss, you know that daddy has therapy to do. You will see him for lunch" she reminded her.

"I wanna stay wif daddy too" Bailey looked at his mom, his baby blues filled with unshed tears.

"I know you do guys, but we want daddy to get all better, right?" the kids nodded "We need to let him do therapy, so he can get better and he can come home with us, understood?"

"Yeah" both kids sniffled.

"You will see me very soon, lunch is just four hours away" Derek reminded, poking them under their armpits and eliciting a giggle from each of them.

"Four hours is forever" Zola complained, her brows set in a straight line.

"Yeah, it is" Bailey supported her, the kids were ganging up on the adults.

"How about this guys... my shift ends at four in the afternoon, I could come pick you guys up and we could go get cookie supplies and go back to my house and bake, if your nana comes with us and your parents agree, of course" Alex looked at both Derek and Meredith sheepishly.

"Sounds good" Derek grinned, just as Meredith nodded.

"I like the idea" Carolyn was on board instantly.

"And I could help you guys as well, I'm off at the same time this afternoon" Amelia piped in.

"Yay!" Bailey was the one who excitedly yelled this time "quiet Bay, you don't want mama to get mad... we need to use inside voice" Zola reminded him.

"Oopsie" he smiled, much like she had done before.

"Okay then, uncle Alex, auntie Amy and Nana will come pick you up early and you will go make cookies and then you'll come here and we'll have dinner all together"

"Can we have piza?" Zola smiled sweetly at both parents.

"Don't you ever get tired of pizza?" Derek shot back.

"Nope" she popped the p and looked at her father like he was out of his mind.

"How can you get tired of pizza?!" Alex laughed out loud.

"Exactly!" Amelia was the first to agree as Meredith nodded.

"Okay then, let's have pizza for dinner, I want a vegetarian one though"

"If you behave we'll even bring you a salad" his mother winked at him, making the rest of the room burst out laughing.

* * *

The day went on as planned, the kids had a blast baking with Alex, Amelia and their grandma. Alex turned out to be pretty helpless in the kitchen, as expected, and the kids found that very funny. Jo came home when the baking was in full swing and she joined forces with the little ones, making fun of his lacking kitchen skills. It was Bailey who asked Jo and Alex to have dinner with them and the two of them agreed eagerly. Zola suggested to call auntie Cristina and uncle Owen as well and a pizza with the family became a proper party in Derek's room. The following day Derek's recovery suffered a setback. His leg had been hurting and bothering him in the latest days and, after some tests, Callie confirmed her suspicions. He suffered from a blood clot. Thankfully it did not need surgery, a cycle of blood thinners was going to suffice, but this new development meant that Derek was not going to be able to go home as soon as it was planned. He felt really tired after Callie had administered him the first dose of his treatment, since he had been awake most of the night because of the pain in his leg; he fell asleep almost instantly.

"_Hey"_

_"So I talked to Clemens, he referred the tumor patient to somebody over at Seattle Pres..."  
"Great. Uh, take a look at the shirt that I bought Zola today. It's-it's-it's in the bag on the counter"  
"Meredith, guys don't get all goo-goo over baby clothes..."  
"Just look!"  
"What is this?" Derek had a bewildered look on his face._

"_It's only three weeks so I shouldn't even be telling you... I mean, I still have a hostile uterus, and terrible things are constantly happening to us, which is why I haven't told anyone. I haven't even told Cristina. So if you tell anyone, I-I swear, I will kick you out of this house that you built!"  
"Don't worry. And good things happen to us! We're gonna have another baby..." he grinned  
"We are gonna have another baby" she grinned back._

He awoke with the biggest smile on his face and found Callie staring at him "are you okay?"

"I'm great" he replied, the memory still fresh in his mind.

"I'm monitoring your condition, I need to se how you are reacting to the blood thinners" she continued looking at him "are you in pain?"

"A little" he answered honestly, the grin still plastered firmly on his face.

"Some pain is normal, you know that, but too much pain is not okay" she was a bit nervous, because this was her friend Derek she was taking care of "the physiotherapist will be by right after lunch and you'll start some exercises that can help you and you'll following this therapy until we make sure that the clot is gone, all right?"

He just nodded "don't worry, I'm sure we caught it early enough" he tried to reassure her.

"I really don't want to perform surgery on you if it's not necessary"

"I'd rather not have you operate on me either"

"Okay, that being said... tell me how is it going, what's up with the huge grin on your face?" she plopped down on one of the chairs, since she had promised Meredith to wait for her in Derek's room while she went to have a consult with Bailey on a patient she had been taking care of since last winter.

"I just retrieved another memory" his voice was beaming with pride.

"Wow, that's great! Care to elaborate?" she gave him a full smile.

"I remembered Meredith telling me she was pregnant with Bailey" his eyes were sparkling, his voice soft, the smile still present on his face.

"Aww, I bet that's a really great memory"

"It's the best... I hope to retrieve some more, maybe better ones" he shrugged his shoulders "do you think I'll be able to sleep better tonight?" he asked after a brief pause.

"I hope so, the clot was the reason of your insomnia, because it was causing you pain, the treatment you're undergoing is pretty aggressive, so I believe the pain should subside substantially"

"Sounds good" he grinned once more.

"What sounds good?" Meredith's voice came from the threshold.

"The therapy Callie has set up for me"

"I hope the pain in his leg will go away in the next 48 hours"

"And you don't plan on operating him, right?" Meredith wanted to make sure.

"No, I don't. Surgery is only necessary in 5-6% of the cases actually, this blood clot doesn't appear severe enough to justify surgery" Callie's tone was reassuring.

"Okay, it does sound good" Meredith's smile matched Derek's now.

"He does have another good news for you actually"

"Really? What is it?"

"I just remembered you telling me that you were pregnant with Bailey" he beamed, his dark blue eyes twinkling with joy.

"You did? That's an amazing news!"

"Yeah..." he nodded "does Zola still have that pink t-shirt?"

"She does, actually, it's pretty tight for her now, but I want to keep it forever..."

"Yeah, it's definitely something that I want to hold on to" he agreed.

"I still hope for Sofia to become a big sister someday..." Callie's musing made both of them turning towards the dark-haired woman "oh, did I say that out loud?"

"You definitely did and I don't see anything wrong with it" came Derek's answer.

"Except I don't have the raw material at the moment" she muttered.

"Well, that could be a problem..." Meredith's smile was tentative.

"I'll leave you two to your matters. Remember the physiotherapist is coming at 1:30"

"I'm not going anywhere, I swear" Derek crossed his heart and laughed.

"All right, see you later" she closed the door behind her.

"This is really fantastic news" Meredith's smile was huge, making her entire face glow with happiness.

"Yeah, I can't stop thinking about it..."

"I think it's a good sign"

"Yeah, me too... I hope it means I will get some other memories back"

"You know, I was thinking to ask your mom if she wants to spend the summer with us" her proposal caught him by surprise.

"Seriously?"

"Yes, seriously. The kids love her and she would be a great help through your recovery once I'll go back to work. She hasn't spent enough time with Zola and Bailey.. what do you think?

"I think it's a great idea" he was quick to agree.

"Good, we'll tell her tonight then"

"When is Cristina going back to Switzerland?"

"Next weekend..."

"You should invite her to come visit as well"

"Yeah, I was thinking about that..."

"Good" he smiled, the twinkle in his eyes still making them bright.

"Are you in a lot of pain?"

"Nah, it's not too bad... you know I will be okay, right?"

"Yes, I know" she tried to smile back.

"I'm not going anywhere" he promised.

"You better!" she challenged, closing the distance separating them with a hug.

**I hope you enjoyed the latest installment. Derek got another memory back, yay! Also, sorry for having him suffer from a blood clot, but I'm trying to be truthful with this story. Stay tuned for more!**


	7. Bless the broken road

**AN: I'm very sorry for the delay you guys, real life got in the way. First my grandma had surgery and she was hospitalized on the other side of the city, she's finally home though. Work is also really busy at the moment, but it should quiet down, with the holidays approaching. Thanks for all the encouragement you gave me via reviews, likes and follows. Hope you're still with me, enjoy chapter 7!**

_Bless the broken road_

Derek woke up drenched in his own sweat, his heart hammering in his chest, sadness clutching his senses. His latest recovered memory still vivid in his mind.

"_Callie... Callie..." he whispered as he entered Mark's room in a rush, she roused from a restless sleep and looked at him "Go home" he suggested, trying to give her a smile.  
"No, I'm all right" she reassured him shaking her head, sneaking a look at Mark's sleeping form.  
"No, you're not" he said as he entered the room "you've been up for the past two nights bouncing between Arizona's room and here"  
"I just need some coffee" she was being stubborn "can you... can you stay with him while I run to the cafeteria?" she asked._

"_I'll stay with him all night" he tried to convince her.  
"I just feel like we're losing him, Derek" Callie was finally voicing her fears, looking intently at Mark's still form "usually when I talk to him, I sense that he's there, that he's listening, but he's giving up... I'm so scared, the second I leave this hospital, I'm gonna get a phone call that he's dead"  
"That's not gonna happen tonight" Derek's voice was confident.  
"Promise?" Callie looked up at him, a glimmer of hope in her dark eyes. _

"_If he starts going south, I'll tell him to cut it out" he assuaged her nodding"he idolizes me" he added after a brief pause.  
She still didn't look convinced "he'll do whatever I say" he promised her.  
"Thank you" she nodded as well, finally getting up from the uncomfortable hospital chair, she patted Derek on the shoulder as she left the room.  
"You heard what I told her. Don't make me look like an ass. Pull it together. A lot of people counting on you" his voice was stern as he talked with his best friend, who kept on sleeping stubbornly._

That was not the only memory he had retrieved during sleep that night, along with it he also remembered Mark's final moments and the pain Callie and him went through as they stayed with him. Not remembering the last three years of his life was atrocious, but the fact that this memory loss had also obliterated the pain of Mark and Lexie's deaths gave him a little comfort. His best friend was dead. Mark's daughter was a orphan. He found himself grateful once more that the same thing was not going to happen to his children. He missed Mark. He missed him so much it hurts. He couldn't believe that his lifetime of memories shared with Mark had ended because of a stupid plane crash. He had been friends with him ever since the second week of kindergarten, ever since Mark had stood up to Richard Tomlins for him. He couldn't accept that it was over, just like that. He was going to do his best to be there for Sofia as well. She didn't have a daddy anymore. Every little girl needed a daddy who treated her like a princess. He had learned that the hard way, when his sisters and him became orphans. He had tried to be like a dad for his little sister, but he had not completely succeeded. He knew that Zola and Bailey wouldn't mind sharing him with Sofia. He believed Callie and Arizona could appreciate that as well. He knew Mark would have wanted it. He was granted a second chance and he was not going to mess it up. With that resolution clear in his mind he closed his eyes once more and fell asleep once more.

He was awoken by Meredith's custom ring on his cell phone the following morning, it was almost 8 o' clock "hey, what's up?" he asked, still groggy.

"Sorry I'm not there yet... we have a situation at home" she mumbled, taking a look at the messy kitchen. Zola was busy coloring at the table, Amelia was making breakfast while the coffee was brewing and Bailey was wailing painfully in his grandma's arms.

"Is that Bailey I hear crying?" he asked his wife, suddenly worried.

"Yeah" her voice sounded tired and a little resentful "he has a pretty high fever caused by a case of otitis media, I think..." she let her voice trail off as she sneaked another look at her miserable boy, he was tugging his ear, as fat angry tears rolled down his face.

"That sucks" he answered "I remember having it when I was 4 or 5 and it was horrible"

"He's been crying ever since 4 a.m. this morning" she confessed, stifling a yawn "Alex is coming over to check him out, I called him half an hour ago"

"Let me know what he says"

She nodded to herself "I will and I will come by as soon as possible"

"No rush, Mere... our kids are more important than me, I'm doing okay and I'm going to be released tomorrow" he reminded her.

"Yeah, thank God" she murmured as she spotted Cristina exiting the bathroom and sitting down next to Zola, who was eying her brother suspiciously.

"Hey, take a deep breath. Wait for Alex and see what he says and then call me back" his soothing voice brought her back to reality.

"Okay" she agreed "I'm leaving the kids at home today, no need for them to go to Daycare, since they won't take Bailey anyway. Your mom is staying with them. I'll be by with Cristina as soon as possible"

"And I'll be here... it's not like I can go anywhere with a broken leg" his tone was playful.

"Did you sleep well?" she asked.

"I woke up in the middle of the night, after I retrieved another memory.."

"That's really good" she cheered up instantly.

"Well yeah, remembering per se was good, except I remembered Mark's final moments... I woke up agitated like after a nightmare" he confessed.

"Oh Derek, I'm sorry about that" her voice was soft and full of concern.

"It's okay... I was bound to remember at some point" he shrugged.

"I wish I was there to give you a hug"

"You'll be here soon enough" he answered as he heard the bell ring on the other side of the phone.

"Alex is here" she confirmed, as Cristina opened the door to the pediatric surgeon.

"Go, have him visit out boy and call me back with news as soon as he's done"

"Will do" she promised "love you" she added before hanging up.

"Love you too" he shot back before hearing the dial tone on the other side.

He placed his phone on the bedside table a grabbed the cup sitting next to it to drink a sip of water, feeling hungry, he was about to press the button to call for a nurse, when Owen entered his room.

"Hey Shep, how are you?"

"Good... hungry actually"

"Want me to go get you something?" he proposed pointing vaguely to the door.

"That would actually be great" he agreed as his stomach rumbled loudly.

"What do you feel like eating?"

"Coffee and a muffin sounds good" he fished for a 10 dollar bill in the drawer and handed it to his friend.

"Nah, breakfast is on me... I still owe you for that awesome pizza party we had the other night" he grinned.

"We should organize another one of those once I'm back home" he grinned back.

"Count me in" he agreed opening the door "I'll be right back" he added as the door closed behind him.

* * *

Meredith and Cristina arrived at the hospital around 10:30 and found Derek busy with physiotherapy. Aaron, his therapist, told them that they would be done in about 45 minutes, so the two women went to get coffee down in the cafeteria.

"You sure you don't mind me going back to Switzerland?" Cristina asked the obvious question, once they were seated at one of the table in the mostly empty cafeteria.

Meredith nodded as she sipped her tea "yeah, you've been here long enough and I'm really grateful that you came, I don't know how I would have done without you, Alex, Amelia and Carolyn... but Derek is coming home tomorrow, I don't want to keep you here" she gave her person a grateful look "we'd love for you to come back and visit in the summer though" she added.

"That would be great" Cristina smiled back.

"We've finally decided to install a pool"

"Really? You do remember that this is Seattle, right?" she snorted.

"Yeah, we do..." Meredith raised her eyebrows "which is why we want to install a pool with an enclosure" she said matter-of-factly "that way we can leave it open when the weather is nice and we can close it and enjoy it even during winter"

"Wow, you really did think this through" Cristina nodded as she drank her coffee.

"Well yeah, it was mostly Derek's idea... the kids are going to flip when we tell them" Meredith got that special smile she always wore when she thought about Zola and Bailey.

"I bet they will, I'm looking forward to the new pool" her friend agreed "I'm really happy for you, you know?" she added.

Meredith looked at her and urged her to continue "you're having it all" Cristina was quick to explain "you have the career, but you also have the husband and kids... I knew you could pull it off" Cristina gave her a rare genuine smile.

"Thanks, it means a lot coming from you" Meredith reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze "you could pull it off too, that is if you wanted to" she threw in.

"Yeah, maybe you're right... but I don't think I will ever find out" she took a sip of her coffee before continuing "if I couldn't do it with Owen I don't think I ever will..."

"The important thing id that you're satisfied with your life"

"I really am, I know I'm making a difference in many lives... I hope to come back here someday, but for now staying in Switzerland is best for me"

"Yeah, I understand that... I miss you, but I'm happy for you" Meredith gave her hand another squeeze.

"Is Owen happy with Amelia?" Cristina's question came after a brief pause.

"I don't know much about them actually... I know they got close and I think they really like each other, I think she opened up about that with Derek..."

"Mh... I think they could be good together" Cristina's voice came out quiet "I'm happy he's trying to move on with someone that could give him the future he wants"

"I just hope he won't settle for her... she's nice, you know?" Meredith felt protective of her sister in law "you would definitely get along with her great, I guess that's why we hit it off right away, she's different from Derek's other sisters..."

"I'm happy you have someone and Owen is not that kind of guy. If he started something with her it's because he's interested" Cristina was quick to respond.

"Yeah, I know..."

"I think he might really feel something for her, he would never date someone just for the sake of it"

"Yeah, you're right..." Meredith smiled at her.

"Do you think I need to tell him that I'm okay with them?" Cristina was genuinely curious.

"I don't know... maybe?!" Meredith wasn't sure either.

"I think I will talk with him face to face before I leave... I wouldn't want to come back in the summer and have them uncomfortable around me" she nodded as she sipped her coffee "they both hang around your house a lot, things could get messy..."

"You should definitely talk with him" Meredith finished her tea and when she saw that Cristina was done as well she got up to throw both cups in the trashcan.

* * *

They passed by the ER on the way back, since Cristina was looking for Owen, deciding to stop by the nursing station to ask if they knew Owen's whereabouts.

Just as Cristina was talking with a nurse, Meredith caught bits of the conversation happening right next to them between nurse Tyler and two women "... we just want to know if he's doing okay" the older one was saying.

"I understand Ma'am, but there is privacy to consider" his tone was polite, but firm.

"He saved all of us after the accident and then he was involved in an even worse accident... we just want to say thank you" the younger woman, she couldn't be older than 16, added.

"I'm really sorry, but I cannot release any information on patients..." Tyler's voice faltered as he saw the raw emotion on both women's faces.

"Can we at least leave him a note? If he's here, that is..." the young girl insisted.

"Sure, I don't see why not" Tyler bent down and looked for a pen and a notepad "here we go" he smiled as he handed both to the girl.

"How should I start this, mom?" the girl uncorked the pen and looked expectantly at her mother.

"Well, I'd start with _Hi Derek, it's Winnie and Sarah_..." the woman trailed off as her daughter scribbled on the piece of paper.

"I'm sorry" Meredith felt herself whisper to the two women "did you just say a man named Derek cured you after an accident?" she asked, raising her voice.

"Yes we did" Winnie answered eagerly.

"I think you might be looking for my husband" she answered quietly.

"Wow... we finally found him Winnie" her mom smiled at her.

"Is he okay?" Winnie's tone was hopeful.

"He's still hospitalized, but he should be released tomorrow" she gave them a genuine smile.

"That's really great to her" Sarah squeezed her arm "do you think we can see him really quick and say thanks? It would be really important for Winnie"

"Oh well... I can take you to his room, but I'm afraid he won't remember you. He's suffering from retrograde amnesia, he doesn't remember the last three years of his life..."

"That's horrible!" Winnie gasped.

"He started remembering something already, so he should recover completely... maybe seeing you will trigger some other memories"

"Okay, if you're sure... we don't want to intrude" Sarah smiled at the distraught woman.

"Of course not, come this way" she gestured to the elevators and the two of them followed suit "I will catch up with you later" Cristina squeezed her arm "Tyler told me he saw Owen in trauma room 3, I'll wait around and see if I can talk with him"

"Okay, I'll go back to Derek's room, we'll catch up later" Meredith smiled back at her person.

Less than five minutes later she was in her husband's room telling him that two of the people he had saved after an horrific accident were here and they wanted to say thanks.

"Wow, are you telling me that I pulled four people out of their cars after an accident and attended to them while we waited for the ambulance?" he sounded unsure and amazed by her brief account.

"That's what they told me, I'll let them in so they can tell you in person" she grinned at him "you still are _my_ _knight in shining whatever_" she added before pressing a quick kiss on his lips.

"Good to know" he grinned back.

She went to let Winnie and Sarah in and looked curiously as the two women proceeded to tell the tale of the day he saved their lives and almost lost his. He listened carefully, smiling at Winnie's eagerness and enjoying Sarah's attention to details as she told him how he had explained them all about his first kiss with Meredith and how he had known she was the one, right after that kiss. When the two of them left they did so with Derek's number in their pockets and the promise to organize a stage for Winnie, since she was really interested in biology and she was thinking about becoming a doctor one day.

"I'm happy they came by" he confessed to her after they were alone.

"Yeah, me too... you saved their lives Derek, it's wonderful"

"I guess... I'm just happy my life was saved as well" he patted the spot next to him on the bed and she sat down right away.

"You really are amazing, Derek" she congratulated him.

"Thanks, Mere" he closed the distance between them with a kiss on her lips.

"I'm really glad to be coming home tomorrow" he murmured when the kiss ended.

"You and me both" she chuckled.

"Hey, my mom called. She said Bailey's temperature dropped to 100,5 degrees with the antibiotics"

"Oh, that's good news, he was in so much pain last night"

"Poor Bailey... did he get any sleep?" he asked.

"He fell asleep around 9:30 as usual, but he was up around 3 a.m. and he didn't sleep anymore after that" she explained as she stifled a yawn.

"You didn't sleep either" he pointed out.

"Not really, no..." she yawned again.

"Here, snuggle with me..." he helped her settle in his arms and inhaled her lavender scent "we have some time before lunch will be served, you can squeeze in a nap"

"That sounds heavenly" she settled her head in the crook of his neck and closed her eyes.

"I can't wait to get home and be able to do this with you in our own bed..."

"Me too" she whispered in his ear, sending shivers down his spine.

"Sweet dreams" he whispered back as he felt her breathing even out, she was exhausted and he was happy that she had the chance to do so. He hugged her close to him and closed his eyes as well.

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter, it was the final one with Derek at the hospital. He retrieved other memories and got a surprising visit. Let me know what you thought, I'll be back with next chapter over the weekend. **


	8. Home

**AN: This weekend, much like the last two weeks, was boiling hot, there were problems with electricity as I was working on the chapter, hence the delay. Thanks, like usual, for the likes, favorites and reviews. I wish I could answer to you all, but you need to log in for that! :) I hope you're still enjoying this, here is chapter 8, Derek is finally going home.**

_Home_

The ride home felt familiar, yet a little unexpected. Derek had clear memories about the land where he had built their _dream house_, he had already lived on that same piece of land in the trailer for quite a long time after all. Meredith had showed him pictures and she had even located the blueprints he had stored away in his office and brought them to the hospital. He couldn't say that he had gotten back any new memories by looking at them, but he did get a homey, peaceful feeling. He also remembered trying to get some work down with Mark, Owen and the rest of the guys on the porch, before finding out it wasn't even and having the workers build it back from scratch. Meredith glanced at him from the driver's side and noticed that he looked tense "there is nothing to be nervous about... I know you don't remember now, but the house you built is perfect for our family. Maybe it's a little too big, which is why we found a cleaner to come help us, but we love it, the kids adore all the space they have" she reminded him softly, snapping him from his reverie.

He turned sharply, looking at her and smiled "I know that, Mere and I hope that being finally home will help me regain the memories I've lost"

"That's the general idea" she agreed.

"But what if it doesn't?" he questioned quietly.

"If it doesn't, it just means that I will have to tell you all about the memories you lost and we'll work hard on making new ones, better ones" her tone was soft, but firm as well "it will be all right" she added, squeezing his left hand.

"I hope so" he murmured.

"I know so" she contradicted him.

"Thank you" he closed his fingers around her hand and squeezed back.

"Don't even mention it" she grinned "we did promise to take care of each other forever..."

His eyes sparkled at the mention of their wedding vows, dating back to six years before "yeah, we did promise that" he was quick to agree "and I'm sorry to have broken one of our other promises by going to DC. We did say no running. I shouldn't have done that"

"You didn't exactly run away, you went there to work on an amazing project, a research that could improve your career once again... I was the one who insisted on making you go"

"You were?" his tone was a little surprised.

"Well, yeah..." she trailed off as they stopped at a red light "you were obviously interested in going to DC, but you wanted me and the kids to come with you and I did not want to leave Seattle..." she paused, looking in his blue eyes "so in the end, afraid that you were going to resent me, I pushed you to go to DC" she explained.

He let her words sink in and took her hand into his once again "it's okay, I'm just glad to be back here" he reassured her "and we're starting fresh" he added for good measure.

"I'm really glad too" she confirmed, stopping the car in front of their garage, she pressed the open button on the remote control and parked "ready to get inside?" she asked, grinning brightly.

"Definitely" he grinned back, his eyes were back to the light blue shade he always sported when he was happy.

"The kids have been bouncing off the walls with excitement ever since I told them you were coming home today" she reminded him "they're thrilled to have you back"

"Not as thrilled as I am" he reassured her as she went around the car to hand him the crutches.

They walked slowly towards the garage door who lead to the mud room, right next to the pantry and the kitchen.

"We're home!" he exclaimed as they entered and, sure enough, two pairs of excited feet scrambled from the playroom and started running towards them.

"Daddy!" they both yelled excitedly as they run.

"Finally!" Zola giggled out of breath as they reached their parents.

"Remember to be careful guys, daddy is in crutches" Meredith reminded them softly as both kids stopped abruptly in front of them.

"Oopsie" Bailey giggled as well as he reached out to touch his dad's good leg.

"The kids run way to fast or me" Carolyn was smiling brightly as she caught up with the four of them "welcome home son" she added as she kissed him on the cheek.

"Thanks Ma, it's good to be home" he sighed contently.

"You should sit down, Derek" Meredith looked worriedly at him.

"Maybe I should" he agreed, feeling already a little tired.

"I'll come with ya, daddy!" Zola was quick to follow him to the couch, Bailey in tow.

"What do you guys want to do?" he asked them as soon as he settled down on the sofa, with his left leg propped up on the coffee table, a pillow underneath it, to give him some comfort.

"Can you wead us a stowy daddy?" Zola was quick to ask him as she snuggled on his right side, Bailey positioned himself on his left.

"I sure can!" he agreed grinning broadly at both kids, feeling incredibly fortunate to be able to hold them close "what would you guys like to read?" he asked after giving the two of them a kiss on their foreheads.

" 'vetin wabbit" it was Bailey who answered first, giving his dad the most amazing charm smile, who mirrored his own.

"Oh yeah, I love it!" Zola agreed right away "Let me go get it!" she added sprinting towards Bailey and hers bookcase in the playroom.

"Can you find it by yourself honey?" Meredith asked her daughter before she disappeared.

"Yah-huh, I put it back there the other day after we read it with Nana" she answered matter-of-factly.

"Ok lovebug" she grinned at the eagerness in her voice and sat down on the armchair opposite the sofa looking at her husband, son and mother-in-law.

"She's so full of life" Carolyn mused out loud.

"She, she reminds us of the Energizer Bunny... as soon as you think she's beat, she starts right back again!" Meredith smiled at the older woman.

"She reminds me of someone else..." she commented pointing vaguely at Derek and laughing lightly.

"I can see him being a handful as a kid" Meredith shared a conspiratorial look with his mom "this is why both our kids are so energetic" she concluded.

"You did tell me that you were afraid we were going to have five chatty children with perfect hair and we would live in the wilderness..." he made fun of her, remembering the beginning of their love story.

"I can't believe you still remember that!" she laughed out loud.

"How could I forget?" he asked sweetly, his eyes locking with hers, nobody else mattered.

Her heart skipped several beats as she looked at his handsome face "we do live in the wilderness" she murmured after a little while, her green eyes sparkling mischievously.

"That we do..." he agreed, his eyes were now dark blue and smoldering "do you want to start working on the five chatty children as well?" he wiggled his eyebrows seductively.

"How about we work on getting you back to your healthy self and then, maybe, we worry about other chatty children?" she suggested.

"All right... I will keep this in mind" he promised, as she closed the distance between them, placing a soft kiss on his lips.

"I'm back!" Zola's exclamation reminded them they were not alone. The foursome turned to look at the overly excited four-year-old, who was holding not one, but two books in her hands.

"Daddy, will you wead us two?" she asked batting her eyelashes, giving him one of her 1000 watts smiles, showing him "The velvetin rabbit" and "Guess how much I love you"

"I sure will" he agreed right away, Meredith knew he was totally smitten with her, but how could she blame him? Their daughter was definitely daddy's little girl and she had the neurosurgeon wrapped around her finger.

* * *

The family spent a quiet day together, simply enjoying each other's company; Derek couldn't have asked for anything better. By the time they finished dinner the kids were exhausted, since they hadn't taken a nap that day. Carolyn offered to bathe them as Meredith cleaned up the kitchen and Derek went with his mom to assist her and make sure the kids behaved themselves. They were too tired to put up a fight and, twenty minutes later, both of them were in bed, sleeping soundly.

"Are you sure you don't mind me staying here with you?" Carolyn didn't want to impose and she voiced her fears as the three of them enjoyed a cup of tea.

"We're certain, Ma" Derek patted her affectionately on her arm.

"We wouldn't have invited you if we weren't sure" Meredith added.

"Okay, I'm actually really enjoying spending time with Zola and Bailey"

"We see that, Ma" Meredith and Derek shared a knowing look and she went on "this is why we want to invite you to spend the summer with us... that is if you want to, of course" she said nervously.

"Are you kidding me? I'd love to!" she exclaimed.

"Then consider yourself busy until the end of summer" his son gave her a huge smile "you'll be of great help, since I'll be still recovering" he added.

"I know you probably didn't bring enough clothes and stuff with you so I can take you shopping if you need and we can fix up your room if you think it needs some changes" Meredith was happy to hear that Carolyn wanted to stay.

"I might take you up on that, maybe we could make it a girls' day and take Zola and Amelia with us"

"That sounds like fun!"

"It's settled then..." Carolyn sipped her tea and looked at the both of them "thanks again for letting me stay here"

"Don't even mention it" Derek shrugged and gave her a one-armed hug.

When Amelia and Cristina got home they found the three of them still on the sofa, chilling and they spent the rest of the evening talking quietly and keeping an eye on Derek.

* * *

The following morning Derek got up with a huge smile on his face, he had retrieved another memory that night.

"_Daddy, is Santa coming tonight?" Zola was grinning at him as she sat on the bed, dressed in one of her Christmas footsie pajamas. _

"_No baby, he's coming in three days" he reminded her as he handed her a sippy cup with warm milk._

"_Aww, dat's vewy far away" she whined, taking the hot liquid._

"_Don't be silly, it's not" she chided her smiling._

"_It is so" she pouted._

"_No pouting lovebug... remember that Santa is still checking out everybody... you don't want to end up on the naughty list, do you?!" _

" _'corse no" she shook her head "I'm not noty" she grinned at her dad._

_He kissed the tip of her nose and gave her a hug "of course you aren't, you're the best little girl in the world" he agreed._

"_An' Bay?" she asked._

"_What about him?"_

"_He noty?" she continued._

"_Do you think so?"_

"_She shook her head once more "he's a baby" she shrugged._

"_He's a pretty good little brother, what do you say?"_

"_Yeah..." she agreed "will Santa bring him 'psents?"_

"_Of course he will... he will bring presents to the both of you" he reassured her._

"_Otay..."_

"_But, he won't bring any if you don't go to sleep" he murmured as she tickled her._

"_Otay daddy, I sweep now" she shrieked. _

"_Sleep tight baby girl, I love you..." he kissed her on the cheek._

"_I 'wuv you too"_

"What has you smiling so bright first thing in the morning?" Meredith asked and he turned to look at her "I didn't know you were awake..." he countered, kissing her briefly.

"Habit I guess" she answered "so, what's going on?"

"I just remembered last Christmas... well, I remembered talking about it with Zola, three days before it actually"

"That's really awesome, Derek" she leaned into him to give him a hug.

"Yeah, I totally agree" she enveloped her kissing her forehead and sighed contently. Everything was going to be just perfect.

**Hope you liked it. Sorry, it's a little shorter than usual, but it made sense to just stop here. Stay tuned for more, hopefully this weekend! **


	9. Little by little

**AN: Sorry you guys, I know I promised I would have updated over the weekend, but we did lots of cooking both on Saturday and Sunday, so time sort of slipped away. Thank you for all the reviews, likes and following, as usual; it's nice to see people enjoying my story. Here is chapter 9, I can't believe the next one will be the 10****th**** already!**

_Little by little_

Derek woke up with a sense of calm, he was finally feeling like life was slowly going back to normal, he was back at home, with his family. He had another chance. He still felt confused, his memories jumbled, but he felt a sense of peace and belonging when he was in this house. It was quite similar to what he had felt like in his parents' home, back when he was a kid. He was sure that being able to sleep in his own bed, with his wife by his side, was a big help for his recovery. He got to spend all day with the kids, who were having a blast, Meredith was patiently showing him pictures from the last three years and narrating him all the biggest events that had happened, and he was doted on by his mother. On the Saturday after he was released, they organized a barbecue to celebrate his return home and Cristina who was flying back to Zurich on Sunday. When Meredith and Alex took her to the airport the following day, she promised to be back at the end of July to spend her summer holidays in Seattle. She made Meredith swear to have the infamous pool installed by then, and Alex was definitely supporting her on this campaign "we haven't told the kids yet" Meredith grinned at her friends "but the company Derek had contacted before the accident is going to come to inspect the land next Wednesday and, if everything goes according to plan, we should have the pool in 4 to 6 weeks... keep your fingers crossed for dry weather"

"Sweet" Alex chuckled "just in time for summer!"

"I have to concur wit Evil Spawn here..." Cristina smirked reviving the old nickname she had given Alex long ago.

"I just did it so it can be an incentive for you to come back and visit" it was Meredith's turn to smirk.

Cristina just laughed "take care you guys, especially you!" she ordered the two of them, staring at Meredith in particular.

"We will" she reassured her person.

"Alex, keep an eye on her"

"I'll do my best" he promised "you have to take care of yourself as well, though" ha added.

"Don't you worry about me" she shrugged her shoulders.

"Hey, I never asked you how it went with Owen in the end" Meredith changed subject, observing Cristina.

"It went all right" she paused, looking at Meredith, as if she was searching for the right words to say "I told him that I'm happy that he found someone to move on with and that I hope she can give him what he deserves..." she trailed off "he said that things aren't really serious yet, but they might become... I think he was happy to get the green light from me"

"I'm proud of you" Meredith gave her a bone crushing hug.

"Yeah, I'm pretty proud of me too actually" she took another pause, her eyes lighting up with the memory of the talk she had with Owen "he's a great man, he deserves good things" she returned the hug "will you check up on him anyway?"

"I sure will"

"And I will too" Alex added for good measure.

"Thanks, Alex" she turned to give him a hug as well.

"I thought you didn't hug" he snorted, hugging her back.

"Don't push it, Karev!" her tone was stern, but her eyes were laughing.

"I'm going to miss you" Meredith sneaked in another hug as they got close to the impending separation.

"I'll call you as soon as I land"

"You better!" she challenged.

"I'll see you guys soon" Cristina promised as she waved "be sure to tell McDreamy that I expect him to be fully recovered when I get back!"

Meredith chuckled "I'll tell him, you know he hates to disappoint people"

"That's exactly what I had in mind!"

"Be sure to bring chocolate the next time you come!" Alex grinned broadly as he shouted for Cristina to hear and ducked Meredith's punch in his left arm.

"I'll definitely bring some for the kids... for you, I'm not so sure" she chuckled as she passed security.

* * *

Monday was a slow day at the Shepherd-Grey residence. It was a typical rainy spring day, so Carolyn suggested to bake cookies, the kids would have fun and they all would have something to eat while they watched a movie later.

"I could go buy cookies at the store..." Meredith's suggestion came out feeble.

"Why would you do that? We got all the supplies to bake home-made cookies when we were at the supermarket the other day" Carolyn looked pretty bewildered at the thought of buying cookies instead of making them from scratch and Derek burst out laughing.

"Mom, you need to know that Meredith's skills in the kitchen are not so great..." he smirked.

She just swatted his hand and shushed him "I must admit that he's mostly right" she shrugged "my mother was not very mother-y" she added after a brief pause, twisting her hands nervously and lowering her eyes to them "I never baked cookies growing up" she confessed.

"You're never too late to start baking cookies" Carolyn coaxed her as she placed a comforting hand on her back.

"I don't think I'll be a very good student... a friend tried to teach me the wonders of baking once, but it didn't go too well" she bit the inside of her mouth as she focused on an afternoon in which Izzie had tried, unsuccessfully, to show her how to make muffins.

"That's nonsense, dear!" Carolyn patted her on the shoulder as she sat next to her daughter in law "I managed to teach all of my kids some basics kitchen skills, Nancy included and she was absolutely helpless" she murmured in a hushed, conspiratorial tone.

"Oh yeah, I remember when she burned a pan trying to hard-boil an egg" Derek grinned at the memory.

"Wow, maybe she really was worse than me..."

"I can assure you that learning to bake cookies will be a walk in the park compared to earning a degree in medical school" she winked at the younger woman.

"You sound so sure..."

"I really am, want me to help gather the supplies?"

"Sure!" both women got up and Meredith stuck her tongue out at her husband.

"Hey, why are you picking on me?" his tone was mock-hurt.

"Because you don't have an ounce of faith in my cooking skills"

"Of course I do..." he gave her his best _McDreamy smile _"I did promise you cooking lessons, if I remember correctly" he added.

"Yes you did, but it looks like your mom will be the one giving me lessons for now" she challenged as she took out the chocolate from a cupboard.

"She will give you a lesson in baking, but I will teach you the fine art of cooking pasta" he wiggled his eyebrows.

"He makes all kinds of pretty divine pasta" Carolyn added quickly as she placed the flour and yeast on the counter "it was his dad who taught him"

"I guess I'll take your lessons as well" Meredith was quick to agree, placing a warm, wet kiss on his lips "you know how much I love pasta".

"Good choice" he whispered after the kiss had ended.

Carolyn had finished placing all the supplies on the counter "are you ready for your first lesson in baking?"

"As ready as I'll ever be" Meredith sounded skeptical.

"Shouldn't we call the kids?" Derek pointed vaguely in the direction of the playroom, where they could hear the shrieks and laughters Zola and Bailey were making.

"I'll go fetch them" Carolyn was already halfway into the living room.

"You never told me that your dad gave you cooking lessons"

"Uh, yeah... I guess it slipped my mind" he gave her a sad smile "it was our special time together"

"Why did you guys do precisely that?"

"My grandmother had taught him, she wanted to be sure that he could manage to survive once he left home and she also assured him that a good meal could be the best way to win a woman's heart"

"Smart woman" she smirked.

"She was pretty amazing, my dad was a lot like her..."

"How so?"

"They were both impulsive, with a big heart" he smiled, remembering both of them "he would have absolutely loved you"

"Really?"

"Definitely" he nodded, his eyes glistening with unshed tears "he would have been a great grandpa"

"I bet" she placed a hand on his shoulder and pressed a kiss on his forehead.

"I miss him everyday" he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper.

"I can understand that, sounds like he was an amazing father, but most of all a wonderful man"

"He was, I just hope to be at least half the man he was... if I will succeed I'll be a happy man"

"I can assure you that you are a great dad, Zola and Bailey both adore you" she squeezed his shoulder "and you are not too bad of a husband either" she winked at him "I'm sure that you're making him very proud, Derek "

"That's good to hear" he chuckled.

She kissed him once more, happy to still be able to do that, tangling her hands in his hair to keep him close to her "I love you" he murmured as their lips were still brushing one another.

"We should start working on adding another chatty child to the bunch, what do you say?" his tone was playful.

"I'd say we need for you to get better first" she snorted, smiling.

"It's not my fault if we make the prettiest babies" he admitted.

"That's true" she had to agree, placing one last kiss on his lips as the heard the kids and Carolyn coming back.

"We'll talk more about this, okay?" he whispered hopeful.

"Yes we will, once we are alone" she agreed, unable to tell him no.

"Who's ready to bake cookies?!" Derek asked enthusiastically as the three of them arrived in the kitchen.

"I am!" both kids cried out excitedly.

"That's good, because Nana is going to teach us all to make chocolate chip cookies today" Meredith bent down to pick up Bailey and place him on a stool.

"Yay, we wuv cookies!" Zola's voice was full of excitement as she looked up expectantly at her grandmother.

"You guys will be the best little helpers" Carolyn winked at her grandkids and gave both of them a high five.

* * *

After the cookies were placed in the oven the family had lunch together. Derek made marinara sauce for the pasta, while Meredith put together a salad.

"See, I do have some kitchen skills!" she challenged.

"My bad" he bowed his head pretending to be sorry for his assumption.

"Stop making fun of me" she chastised him.

"I can't help it" he defended himself "you're so cute when you're mad"

"We'll see if you're as good of a teacher as your mom is" she challenged him as she washed the tomatoes "she managed to teach me how to bake, we'll see if you will be able to teach me how to make amazing pasta"

"Challenge accepted" he smirked.

After lunch the kids took a brief nap and, by three o' clock they were both up, demanding cookies. After they tried one each Zola managed to convince the rest of them to watch _Frozen_ for the millionth time. They all settled on the couch and popped the dvd in the player, preparing for a fun afternoon.

When Amelia got back, around 5 o' clock, she found them finishing the cartoon, the remaining cookies in a platter on the counter.

"Hey, it smells great in here!" she called as she spot the treats.

"We made cookies anty!" Zola's excited voice explained her, as if it wasn't obvious.

"I see that, princess" she answered, snagging a couple of cookies and settling on the floor next to the four years old.

"How are you?" she asked her brother after she had finished the first pastry.

"Pretty good, my leg itches like crazy though"

"We'll ask Callie what you can do about that" Meredith patted him on the casted leg affectionately.

"Hey, I asked Owen if he wants to come by for dinner" she said a little while later "I hope it's okay"

"Sure" both Meredith and Derek nodded in agreement.

* * *

After the movie ended the kids played some more, then, as Amelia surveilled them during their baths, Carolyn popped a chicken in the oven and settled to prepare a vegetable casserole and potatoes to go with the meat.

Meredith and Derek had gone back to their room to get ready for dinner. After she had helped him wash himself she took a quick shower, going back to the bedroom to wear clean clothes.

"Are you planning to take advantage of me?" he mumbled as she entered the room, wearing only a terrycloth.

"Maybe" she smirked, taking a long look at his naked torso as she picked out some clean underwear.

"You're killing me here" he lamented as she wore a lacy red bra with matching panties.

She smirked "that was the plan" she managed to say, before she felt the urge to ran to the bathroom and empty the contents of her stomach.

"Are you all right?" his voice was full of concern, he hated the fact that he couldn't get up and follow her.

"Yes, I'm fine" she answered "I think the stress is catching up with me" she shrugged, getting up to wash her mouth and teeth quickly.

"Are you sure?" he pressed as she reentered the room.

"Positive" she sat next to him and kissed him sweetly.

"Okay" he gathered her into his arms and kissed her hungrily "if only this stupid cast wasn't in the way" he complained after the kiss ended.

"You will get rid of it soon enough" she promised, losing herself in his warm embrace.

**So, here was chapter 9, some big news are on the way... I hope you liked it, sorry again for the delay. Leave me a review and let me know what you thought of it. I plan to update between Sunday and Tuesday! **


	10. I can't keep my eyes off of you

_**AN: First of all I just want to tell you guys that I'm stoked to have reached, and passed, the 100 reviews, thanks for the support you give me. I'm really sorry for the delay, but work doesn't seem to slow down this summer. I want to reassure both Patsy and the other anonymous reviewer who were worried about me not updating this, maybe it will take me some time, but I already have the entire layout of this story planned and I will finish it. Hopefully this week and the next should be quiet, so I'll have lots of time to dedicate to writing, with the shorter hours. Enjoy chapter ten!**_

_I can't keep my eyes off of you_

Recovering was proving to be quite a lengthy process. He had known that already, but Derek was hating the slowness. Just like any other surgeon he was an over achiever. Being stuck at home, having to do therapy and suffering with memory loss were things he would much rather not deal with. The memories were coming back to him in bits and pieces, but he didn't feel like they were resurfacing fast enough. He was still battling with uneasiness as he scrolled through pictures of the last three years and he detested asking about every happy moment he spotted on paper. Earlier in the week he had remembered the day Bailey was born. The emotions he had felt as his son came to the world came back to him in an emotional memory. He could still feel the pain and despair he had gone through when Meredith was undergoing emergency surgery. He had waited for news about her well-being with Cristina, who had reminded him how important Meredith was for the both of them.

"_He looks like her" he mused, looking at Cristina as they were both sitting on a gurney in the dark hallway "did you see him?" _

"_Uh, no I didn't" she shook her head, coming out of the stupor she was feeling.  
"Yeah, he looks like her…" he sighed, trailing off "his apgars are good" he added, feeling extremely proud of his newborn son "he's gonna be fine" he whispered, nodding to himself.  
"He's gonna be great" she nodded as well.  
"Cristina?" his voice sounded broken and unsure as he tried to fill the silence that was engulfing them. _

"_Hey… Meredith Grey has survived a bomb, a drowning, a gunman, and a plane crash, and she's still here" she was quick to reassure him, enunciating all the times Meredith had had close encounters with death "she's gonna die when she's like 90, old and warm in her bed..." she added for good measure, managing to draw a smile from him "she is not gonna die today" she promised as he nodded and she took his hand into hers "today she's gonna be fine…"  
"I hope so" he mumbled, too afraid to fathom the thought of his life without her in it.  
"She has to be" Cristina's voice sounded like a mantra as she added "she's our person" they shared a knowing look and settled down to wait for news about her. _

Like every other day since she had known her, Meredith had proved how extraordinary she was on the day of Bailey's birth. It never ceased to amaze him what a wonderful woman she was. When they had first met she had tried to pass as a surgery-hungry, fresh out of med school girl doing her best to prove her mother wrong. But he had known, right from their first meeting in that bar, that there was a lot more about her than what she was trying to let on. He was always astounded by her big heart, despite all that she had gone through, Meredith could still see the best in other people, she had done that with him even after his wife had showed up. She had done it once more when he had batted his mother's ring in the woods. And, even if his memory was still fuzzy, she had also done it not so long ago, taking him back even if he had screwed up with a research assistant. She had done it with Alex, who had become a big brother figure for her, but had started out just like a pain in her butt. She had done it with Cristina, who turned out to be her person and was by her side during her most important battles, but started out as her competitor. She never gave up and pushed everybody else to do better and prove themselves everyday. He couldn't imagine a better mother for his kids, thinking how afraid she had been of becoming like her mother he couldn't help but laugh. She was a whole other league. Sure Ellis Grey had been a pioneer in medicine and a role model for many women who became Doctors, but her daughter was even more amazing. She was a competent surgeon and an attentive mother, while also being a wonderful wife and friend.

"What are you smiling about?" she asked when she woke up and she found him lost in his musings.

"You" he answered honestly, closing the distance separating them, placing a soft kiss on her lips.

She sighed when the kiss ended and curled herself up in his embrace, scratching her nose with the back of her right hand "what about me has you smiling at 7 in the morning?" she pressed.

"Just everything about you makes me smile at every hour of everyday" he mumbled pressing a kiss on her head.

"You're very romantic today" she giggled.

"And you are amazing" he countered, a big smile still plastered on his face.

"Stop all the compliments, you're going to make me blush" she chastised him.

"I like it when you blush, you're even prettier than usual…" he wiggled his eyebrows seductively.

"You're such a flatterer!" she grinned.

"I aim to please" he shrugged.

"I can't believe I have to go back to work in four days" she complained, burrowing her nose in the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent, a mix of his aftershave, soap and something that was uniquely him.

"Don't worry about that now" he soothed, caressing the small of her back "we still have four more whole days"

"And then I'm only going back to work part-time" she perked up, before she placed another kiss on his mouth. What had started out as a soft kiss soon became demanding and needy, both of their tongues battling for dominance. Once air became a necessity the two of them released each other's lips, both panting, their hearts pounding in their ears.

"You know" he whispered after a brief pause "it's still early enough for us to truly enjoy each other's company" he suggested.

"What did you have in mind?" her voice was sultry in his ear.

"Well, for starters I'd like to remove this bothersome shirt" he growled in her ear, pulling on her pajama top.

She shrieked with laughter as he insinuated his hand underneath the cotton of her shirt tickling her and she climbed into his lap to remove his t-shirt as well.

"Too bad you can't follow me in the shower" she pouted.

He stared at her, amazed at the gleam in her eyes and at the naughty grin she was sporting "what did you have in mind?" he wondered.

"I was thinking about the infamous bendy thing" she tried to sound innocent as she started toying with the waistband of his pants.

His eyes went huge and he sighed loudly as he stared at her "have mercy" he whined, before she descended on him, kissing him forcefully.

"Maybe we cannot do the bendy thing, but I'm sure we can work something out.." she purred.

"I sure hope so" he agreed "but I'm not forgetting the bendy thing, just wait until I'm out of this cast" he promised.

"I'll be counting the days" she grinned as she took off her pajama pants.

* * *

After a more than satisfying early morning together the two of them emerged in the kitchen and found Carolyn, Amelia and the kids busy with breakfast preparations.

"Hey guys, did you sleep all right?" Carolyn smiled at both of them.

"Yeah, wonderfully" Derek answered a gleam in his eyes, as he got close to his mother and gave her a kiss on the cheek, bending down to kiss both kids right after.

"How about you guys?" Meredith inquired as Amelia offered both of them a cup of coffee.

"I swept gweat mama!" Zola grinned at her as she hugged the little girl and kissed her on the top of her head.

"Did you sleep good as well, buddy?" Derek was hugging Bailey close to him and he nodded in response.

"What are you guys making?" Meredith asked after she took a sip of coffee.

"French toast!" Zola was clearly excited.

"Amelia went to the Farmer's Market at the harbor to buy bread and she found these amazing berries" Carolyn pointed to the blueberries and the raspberries that were sitting on the counter "so we decided to make French toast, we wanted to surprise you…"

"I didn't know there was a Farmer's Market at the harbor" Meredith sounded surprised as she looked at Amy.

"It's a new one, since the one in Seattle is really popular they decided to have one on the island as well"

"Good, we should go check it out one of these days, since I'll still be stuck at home" Derek snatched up a blueberry.

"No stealing daddy" Zola swatted his arm away.

"I need to taste them, check if they're good enough, baby" he grinned at her and she grinned back once he gave her and Bailey a blueberry each.

"Tasty" she decided and her little brother just nodded in agreement.

"Go sit down, did you forget what the therapist said? You don't need to force the recuperating process" Meredith pointed to one of the stools and Derek obediently sat down, watching his family making breakfast together. It was an enthralling process to watch, seeing the four of them laughing as they mixed eggs and milk and they washed the berries so they could put them on top of the bread before drenching the whole thing in maple syrup. There was a time, not too long ago, when he had given up on the idea of being a dad. It had never been the right time with him and Addison, they were both focused on their careers and neither of them wanted to take a step back and concentrate on kids. It had just been the wrong relationship. With Meredith it had been different, from the very first day, when she kicked him out of her house. Here they were, almost eight years later, with two kids and the beautiful house in the woods he had worked on for so long, he was definitely living the dream. It was Amelia that woke him up from his daydream "here's your French toast" she said poking him in the ribs and handing him a plate "Zola was the one that placed the berries" he looked down on the plate and smiled his slice of toast was full of red and blue berries shaped in a wobbly Z, she had learned a couple of days before that Z was the first letter of her name.

"Great work on your Z, honey" he praised and she rewarded him with one of her bright smiles.

"You teached me good, daddy" she grinned, as she swallowed the first bite of her breakfast, right after Meredith had cut it up for her.

"Wow, you guys... this is the best French toast ever!" he complimented, turning to give both kids a high five.

"Fanks dada" it was Bailey who answered first.

"Thank you for making it"

"We should definitely do this more often" Meredith had to agree as she put another bite in her mouth.

"Maybe we should make it a weekly tradition" Derek's proposal had both kids nodding excitedly.

"Yeah, I guess we should" Meredith winked at them and Amelia smiled as she added "can I be invited every week, then?"

"Of course!" Zola smiled sweetly at her aunt.

"Okay then, I can go pick up the berries every time you want"

"It's a deal" Meredith took another sip of coffee and relaxed, seeing her kids so happy literally warmed her heart.

* * *

On the last day before she was set to go back to work Meredith had organized a mommy-daughter date with Zola. They were going to have breakfast together, then to the aquarium and to Pike Place Market for a quick stroll and a nice lunch. In the afternoon they were meeting at the mall with Alex who was going to help them buying party supplies for Bailey's birthday party. His party was a little less than three weeks away. They were going to take advantage of the little boy's birthday to celebrate Derek's progress in his journey towards recovery as well.

"What took you guys so long?" Alex approached them as soon as he spotted Meredith's car.

"Someone wanted ice cream" Meredith answered pointing to the little girl enjoying a strawberry cone covered with sprinkles.

"Why didn't you wait for uncle Alex?!" he asked trying to sound mad as he poked Zola in the ribs.

"I was hungry" she giggled as he helped her to get out of the car.

"You're always hungry" Meredith chastised her with a smile.

"So are you mama" she answered sweetly, licking her cone contently.

"I gotta agree with the little lady here... you eat a lot for being so tiny!"

"Shut up, you eat a lot more than me" she was quick to defend herself.

"Maybe, but I'm a man..."

"Whatever..."

They entered a shop dedicated to party supplies. Zola had convinced Meredith and Derek to give Bailey a jungle teamed party. The little boy had been obsessed with _Madagascar_ lately and both parents agreed with the four years old. They found matching paper plates, cups, tablecloth and napkins with the four main characters and the infamous penguins on them. Zola took her job of picking out a piñata very seriously and they ended up getting one shaped like Marty the zebra, who was Bailey's favorite character. They even found little bags containing party flavors to give out to all the guests, to thank them for coming. Satisfied with everything they found, they went to the bakery next to order cake. They settled on a big fruit cake with the portrait of the characters from the movie in the center and the writing _Happy Birthday Bailey!_ right below it written in chocolate. Zola convinced them to go to the toy store next, since she wanted to pick out Bailey's present. She found a plush toy of Marty and shrieked with joy. Since she had been such a little helper Meredith decided to give her a present as well and she, unsurprisingly, settled for a colored book about dolphins and sea creatures. She loved to read with her parents, especially with her daddy. After they were done at the toy store they entered the supermarket to get some of the food in advance and to pick up the stuff they needed for dinner as well, Carolyn had given them a list.

"Can you go get the zucchini?" she asked Alex "I'll meet you right by the tomatoes" she added as she speeded the other way.

Five minutes later she hadn't come back yet, so Alex went to look for her. She found her in the pharmacy aisle, staring at the boxes in front of her "are you all right?" his voice was concerned.

"Yeah, I'm great" she dismissed him right away.

"What are you doing here?" he pressed, noticing she was staring at various pregnancy tests.

She stayed silent, biting on her lower lip "I remembered this morning that I'm definitely late" she mumbled.

"Wow... that's huge" he put a hand on her shoulder.

"Yeah, you could say that..." she shrugged "the universe definitely has a funny sense of humor" she grimaced, picking two boxes and settling them in the shopping cart.

"Hey, it will be all right" he reassured her.

"Yeah, I know that... it's just that I would have wanted Derek to really be recovered, you know..."

"He we'll be okay soon enough" he soothed her.

"Yeah I know...and besides, I still need to take the test first" she placed a kiss on top of Zola's hair, she was busy with her newest book, but smiled at her mom.

"You're going to tell, him, right?"

"Of course I am, I'm telling him as soon as I get home" she smiled as they walked towards the register.

"You'll make it, even if there's gonna be three of them" Alex's voice was 100% sure.

"I hope so..."

"I know so" his tone was defined as they started to unload their stuff.

**Hope you liked it, most of you had guessed it already... chapter 11 will be posted on Friday, because it's almost ready, this is to hoping you'l forgive me for the delay of chapter 10. Leave me a review, please!**


	11. Let me count my blessings

_**AN: Hi you guys, here I am with the newest chapter of this fiction, sorry I couldn't update on Friday, we had to change our plans for the weekend. Anyway, I guess some of you are on holiday (lucky you since I'm still stuck at work) because I noticed that reviews are not as much as before... I hope you're still reading and enjoying this story, because I'm having lots of fun in writing it. I have countless things that I want to write about in mind for it, so sit back and enjoy the ride. **_

_Let me count my blessings_

Meredith looked in the rearview mirror, Zola was dozing off in her car seat, the book they had gotten just hours prior sat on her lap, opened on a colorful page adorned with dolphins, starfishes and seahorses. She had definitely passed her Princess stage and went straight in the dolphin and sea animals phase; they should look for a summer swim class for her to attend, maybe they could find one for Bailey as well. A little further away she could see Alex and Jo following them in his car, they were coming to their house for dinner. Sure, it was barely 4 o' clock in the afternoon, but they wanted to grill outside, so it was better to start early and Alex had to do the grilling, since Derek wasn't yet in any shape to be standing up for a long time. As they stopped at a red light she glanced nervously at her purse, biting the inside of her right cheek. The offending objects were sticking out from her purse, almost as if they were staring at her, mockingly. The last time she had taken a pregnancy test she had not been this nervous. She had just been astonished. She hadn't think that she would be able to carry a baby full term, not after they had found out that she had a hostile uterus. Bailey had been a surprise, a very welcomed surprise that is. They did not expect him to come, but they had been overjoyed with the news. She was sure Derek would be overjoyed with this eventual pregnancy as well, they had talked about adding another baby in the mix before his accident, but… were they ready? She was not so sure. He was struggling with recovery. She was going back to work on the following day, even if only part time. They already had two very enthusiastic kids who were very time consuming. But then again, they said that _life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans_. Maybe they should just embrace whatever life was going to give them. She nodded to herself and sighed. She did want another baby, another human being who was half her and half Derek. Like he repeated to her almost everyday, the two of them made pretty babies. It didn't matter that Zola was adopted, she could see herself in the stubbornness the little girl sported when she was concentrating on a new task and she could see Derek's smile whenever she wanted to convince them to agree with her on something. She could picture her in her adolescent years, using her charm smile to win her father over. With that thought in mind she smiled and called the little girl "hey lovebug, we're almost home..." she said.

Zola didn't to be woken up right before she had to get down form the car so Meredith called to her once more "did you have a nice nap, little one?"

Zola stifled a yawn and she giggled "I did, mama..." she stretched, much like Meredith liked doing first thing in the morning and looked at the book in her lap "I dreamed I was a dolphin!" she exclaimed excitedly.

"You did?!" Meredith grinned back.

"Yup, it was amazing"

"I bet it was..." Meredith stopped at another red light and turned to look at her "what did you do in the dream?"

"I swimmed a lot" she answered matter-of-factly.

"Of course you did..." Meredith giggled at her tone "would you like to take a swim class?" she asked, remembering what she was thinking about as the girl slept.

"Would they teach me to swim like the dolphins?"

"Maybe... they would start by explaining about how us humans swim, but sure... I guess they can teach you all about how the dolphins swim as well" she nodded as she explained.

"Can I do that today?" she wondered.

"I don't think so, since we're going home..."

"Aww, but I wanna swim" she pouted.

"How about we go home and search for a pool where they have summer courses?" she proposed.

"Yes! Can Bailey come too?" she asked "And Sofia?" she added her best friend right away.

"If Bailey wants he can definitely come and we can ask about Sofia coming to her moms..."

Zola nodded staring outside the window "Mama..." she said after a little while.

"What baby?"

"Why does Sofia have two mommies and no daddy?"

Meredith sneaked in a look at her daughter in the rearview mirror and gave her a sad smile "Sofia had a daddy, baby girl..." she started to explain.

"But we never see him" she was quick to answer.

"You used to see him all the time..." Meredith couldn't keep the sadness from her voice as she thought about Mark.

"I don't 'member him" Zola shrugged her shoulders, looking lost.

"But you do remember that picture of daddy and another man we have on the fireplace in the living room, right?"

Zola nodded "yeah mama, I 'member"

"Well that was your uncle Mark, he's Sofia's daddy"

"Oh yeah, there's a p'ture of him at Sofia's house near the sofa"

"I think there is more than one, honey" she smiled at her.

"Yeah, Sofi has one in her room too"

"Yeah, she does... it's from her first birthday party, you were there as well"

"I was?"

"Yes, you have that picture in the playroom from the party, you've both got cake on your face"

"Oh yeah, 't was stwabewwy cake"

"You've always loved strawberry, just like your mama"

"Yeah... stwabewwy is the best" she was quick to agree then she added "where is unca Mark?"

"He's up in heaven" Meredith's tone became somber once more.

"Oh... dat's why he's not with Sofi?"

"Yes, that's exactly why he's not here with Sofia"

"He lived with Sof and her mommies?" she wandered.

"No he didn't"

"Why? They d'vorced like Tommy's parents?"

"No baby, they never married in the first place. You know that it takes a man and a woman to make a baby, right?" Meredith was still looking at the girl in the rearview mirror.

Zola nodded "yeah, you 'xpained to me that to make a baby you need a man and a woman who love each other lots and lots"

The woman smiled and went on "your uncle Mark and aunt Callie really loved each other very much and they made a baby together, that baby is Sofia, but Callie was already in love with aunt Arizona so when Sofia was born aunt Zona adopted her, are you following me lovebug?"

Zola nodded "aunt Callie and uncle Mark loved each other and made Sofia, but aunt Callie was in love with aunt Zona so she 'dopted Sofi"

"Very good sweetie" she smiled "anyway since aunt Zona adopted her, Sofia has two mommies and one daddy"

"Even if her daddy is up in heaven?"

"Yeah, even if he's up in heaven. He loved her very much and he loved you a lot as well"

"Really?" she sounded a little surprised.

"Well, of course sweetie. Uncle Mark was your daddy's best friend and he loved you with all his heart, he was so happy for your daddy and me when we finally signed the papers and got you forever" she grinned reminiscing the day Janet had taken Zola home to them and turned to look at her daughter after she had parked the car in the garage.

"Were you happy mama?"

"I was ecstatic... I was overjoyed... so insanely happy that you were finally back home with us" she said turning around the car to unlock the car seat.

"I'm happy too mama" she whispered grinning, closing the book in her lap.

"You are, huh?"

"Yes mama, I'm very happy you're my mommy and daddy is my daddy"

"That's really great to hear, since we've waited a long time for you baby girl..." she confessed.

"You did?" Zola climbed down from the car and looked up at Meredith.

"Yeah we did..." she took her hand into hers and smiled "we were trying so hard to have a baby, but it wasn't coming and we were getting a little desperate and then you came along... your uncle Alex brought you here all the way from Africa and your daddy saw you and fell in love right away, he called me over to meet you and the same thing happened to me. We knew you were our baby from the first moment we saw you" she explained.

"Just like I know you're my mama and my daddy" she whispered once more.

"Just like that" she nodded and turned to look at Alex and Jo who were approaching.

"Need a hand with all those bags?" it was Jo who asked.

"Yes please!" Zola grinned at them.

"You still need to show me that cool book you got" Jo went on, pointing to the object in Zola's hand.

"We can watch it together with Bay" she proposed.

"Sounds like a good plan"

The foursome entered the house chatting animatedly "we're home" it was Zola who called out.

Bailey ran towards his sister right away "hey!" he shrieked.

"Can I show Bay the book, mama?"

"Sure, go ahead"

"You comin' Jo?"

"Yes miss Zola" Jo put the bags she was carrying down and followed the two kids in the playroom.

"I'll help you with the grocery Mrs Shepherd" proposed Alex "so Meredith and Derek can put away all the stuff for Bailey's party" he added, giving Meredith the chance to speak with Derek privately.

"Did you guys find everything?" he asked balancing a bag in his right hand along with one of the crutches.

"Yeah we did, we settled on a _Madagascar _theme"

"Good idea" he grinned thinking about the many times they had watched the movie recently.

"Let's go put the bags away so I can show you" she mumbled, grabbing the rest of the bags.

* * *

After she had showed him the stuff for the party and they had put it away safely Derek took a moment to really look at Meredith "are you okay?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"You look tired" he supplied.

"I feel tired" she conceded.

"Do you want to take a nap? I'm sure my mom and Alex can take care of the dinner preparations"

"I need to talk to you first" she said slowly.

"Okay, of course" he sat down on the bed and patted the spot to his right.

She let herself fall on the bed and turned to look him in the eye "you know how I've been feeling really tired lately?" she finally asked.

"Yeah and I'm sorry that it's my fault"

"It's not" she stopped him right away "you didn't ask to be involved in a car accident"

"Well, no... I didn't" he agreed.

"Anyway, I've been really tired lately and today it finally hit me" she paused and looked at Derek once more "I'm late, Derek" she confessed, her voice so low he could barely hear her.

"Late as in..." he looked at her, eyes wide.

She retrieved the two boxes from her purse and showed him.

"Oh wow... a baby?" he asked.

"Maybe... I should take the test to be sure" she mumbled.

"Are you nervous?" he asked, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"A little, it's just that we talked about it and now it might be true and..." she trailed off.

"What?" he placed his right arm around her and draw her close to him.

"I'm afraid that the test will be negative" she finally confessed.

"I really want another baby as well" he murmured, closing the distance separating them with a kiss on her lips "let's just do this and see what the test says" he coaxed her in his sweetest voice.

"Yeah, let's do this" she got up and walked to the bathroom, Derek hot on her heels.

"Are you ready for the longest three minutes of our lives?" she asked, opening one of the boxes.

"As ready as I'll ever be" he reassured her.

"Okay then..." she trailed off sitting down on the toilet "it's kind of funny to think that me peeing on a stick could be the beginning to one of the best news of our lives..." she grinned nervously.

"It is..." he put one of his hands under her chin, forcing her too look him in the eyes "whatever the test will say it will be okay" he smiled at her.

"Yeah... I hope it will be positive" she confessed.

"Me too" he quickly agreed giving her another kiss.

_**Sorry for the cliffhanger, but chapter 12 is already on the way, be sure! I hope to post it between Friday and Saturday. Leave me a review and let me know if you enjoyed chapter 11, I hope I did well with it. **_


	12. I just need you now

_**AN: Hello my dear readers, I'm back with the newest chapter of my story, I can't believe I'm on chapter 12 already. Thank you all so much for the likes and the followings, but especially for the reviews cause they make me really excited. I wish you all logged in to review so I could answer to all of you personally. Work is finally a little calmer now, so I have more time to concentrate on writing. Here is the chapter that, I think, you've all been waiting for, enjoy! **_

_I just need you now_

Once she had done her part Meredith put the test on the bathroom sink and Derek set up the timer on his phone. The two of them just stared at each other for a short while. Their lives could change forever in exactly three minutes, a matter of 180 seconds. Could they make it with three kids? They had not managed with the addition of Bailey right away, but they were finally balancing their busy lives with two kids. Could add in a third one shake things up too much?

"I hate this part" she finally confessed, twisting her hands nervously.

"I'm sorry I wasn't with you for this part the last times" his voice sounded apologetic, mentioning both of the times she had taken a pregnancy test.

"It wasn't exactly your fault" she reassured him, her voice soothing.

He just nodded, leaning over the sink to peer at the number on the cell phone screen "it will be okay" he said to her once more.

"Yeah I know that" she nodded as well "it always ends up okay with us" she stated, her voice sure, her eyes bright, her smile big.

"It sort of is, huh?" he agreed smiling proudly at her.

"Yes" she smiled back "just don't pull another stint like this one on me" she threatened.

"I will do my best" he promised.

"You need to be by my side" she added, her voice breaking at she thought back at the fear she had felt when she saw him motionless on that hospital back, six weeks before.

"I will definitely be by your side" he promised locking eyes with her; she stared into the midnight blue pools and found herself believing, her heartbeat quickening, butterflies flying loose in her stomach.

"I love you so much" he added, leaning down to press a kiss on her temple.

"I love you too, more than I ever thought I would ever love someone" she admitted.

His response was cut by the ringing of the timer and they both turned to look at the white test on the sink.

"Grab it" she whispered, since he was closer.

He did as instructed and took the thin object in his hand, without looking at it "what does it say?" she asked.

"I don't know, I haven't looked yet" he answered, his eyes never leaving hers.

"Kind of hard to know if we don't take a look" she tried to joke, her voice tense.

"Want to look down at the count of three?" he proposed and she just nodded.

"One.. Two… Three" both heads looked down finding the 8 letters they had been hoping for, accompanied with the note 7-8 weeks.

"I'm pregnant…" she finally mumbled.

"You are!" he exclaimed enchanted.

"I'm a little scared, but also really happy"

"I'm over the moon" he agreed.

"Want me to take the second one just to be sure?"

"Yeah, why not" he passed her the second box and finally sat down on the chair they had in the master bathroom.

Waiting didn't seem as excruciating the second time around. Probably because a huge weight had been lifted off of their shoulders by the outcome of the first test. They were both equally thrilled to see the same response on the second test and they hugged each other fiercely.

"Are we crazy to embark in another pregnancy right now?" she asked once they had left the bathroom and sat down on their bed.

"Some people might think that, yeah…" he conceded "but I really don't care about what other people think, what really matters to me is if we are happy with this and I believe I can say that we are"

"Yeah, we're definitely happy" she sighed softly.

"You will need to set up an appointment with Connie I suppose" he murmured as he settled on the bed and she molded into his embrace.

"Yes I definitely need to do that, I'll call her tomorrow as soon as I get back to work"

"Make sure to schedule an appointment on a day when I can be with you, I can't wait to see out baby…" he grinned goofily.

"Of course" she agreed, grinning back.

"I want to wait before we tell other people" she added, as she caressed his torso with her right hand.

"I agree, we should definitely wait until you're in your second trimester"

"But I might have to tell Alex" she mumbled.

"Why's that?"

"He sort of busted me picking out the test earlier… he went all _big brother-y_ on me and insisted that I came home and talked to you about it immediately… like I wasn't going to do that already" she snorted.

He stifled a laugh "there was a time when you wouldn't have come to me right away and Alex wouldn't have insisted on it" he reminded her "you're both grown up so much"

"Yeah, considering that we were basically raised by wolves I'd say we turned out pretty great" she smirked.

He laughed out loud and she laughed with him, hugging him hard and long like her own life depended on it. He inhaled her lavender scent and sighed, breathing her in, tangling his left hand in her blonde hair, caressing her back with his other hand. She kissed him fully on the mouth, tasting him, the mint from the toothpaste mixed with a vague coffee taste. His tongue begged for entrance in the warm cave of her mouth and she allowed it, moaning in pleasure as their tongues met and a jolt of electricity sparked through her core.

"You taste so good" he moaned slowly, his lips barely leaving hers.

"So do you" she reassured him, climbing on his lap, straddling him.

"Think we have time for a quickie?" he asked hopefully.

"I was hoping you'd ask that" she purred into his ear and giggled.

* * *

When they emerged from their bedroom they found Carolyn, Alex and Amelia busy marinading the beef and preparing the vegetables to accompany dinner. Jo was still playing with Zola and Bailey in the playroom.

"Do you guys want some help?" it was Meredith who asked as the two of them stepped out of the room.

"Sure, you can peel some potatoes" Carolyn smiled at her daughter in law.

"I'll go check up on Jo and the kids"

"Yeah, you better... who knows what they might be up to with Jo" Alex smirked at Derek as the older man started limping towards the playroom.

"Oh come on, we trust you with our kids, why shouldn't we trust Jo" Meredith chuckled at Alex and he sticked his tongue out at her "come peel the potatoes, Mere" he grumbled.

"Afraid I'll peel faster than you?" she challenged.

"Bring it on, Grey!"

"I guess I'll get busy with the vegetables then, since you guys are clearly in charge of the potatoes" Amelia laughed as she looked at the two friends.

"How are you making them?" Meredith was still trying to learn as much as possible in the kitchen.

"We're going to make a stir-fry" supplied Amelia as she cut a yellow bell pepper.

"The kids will love it, you'll see" Carolyn promised as she grabbed a wok for the vegetables.

"I love stir-fried vegetables" Meredith used to eat them almost everyday when she was in college "are they easy to make?"

"They're pretty simple, but very tasty" was Carolyn's response as she grabbed some soy sauce and mixed spices to season the vegetables.

"Next time you need to show me how to make them step by step" she whispered to her mother in law.

"I sure will, but I'm pretty sure you'll get the hang of it by tonight" she grinned at the younger woman "next time we'll make stir-fried vegetables with chicken or prawns"

"Looking forward to it" was Meredith's answer as she busied herself with the potatoes.

"We're making both roasted and mashed potatoes, since Bailey said that mashed are his favorite"

"Oh yeah! He loves mashed potatoes, Derek always makes them for him" Meredith interrupted Carolyn smiling.

* * *

Derek found the kids and Jo having lots of fun in the playroom. Zola was trying to teach Bailey how to play Candyland and Jo was helping her in the process

"But I don' wanna pick cards" Bailey was looking at his sister, challenging her.

"That's just how it works, Bay" Jo soothed him.

"I jus' wanna pick my fvorit color" he pointed to one of the blue spots on the board.

"Nah huh, you gots to pick a card from here" Zola said in a stern tone.

"Why?" ha asked once more.

"B'cause" she shrugged her shoulders and looked at Jo.

"That's no answer" he grumbled.

"Zola is right, sweetie" Jo cut in and smiled at the toddler "the rules say that we have to pick one of the cards from the stack"

"Me no likes the rules" he mumbled in a whiny voice.

"Rules are there for a reason, Bay" Derek entered the room and sat down on the oversized armchair where they usually sat down to read a story to the kids.

"Hi daddy!" Zola grinned happily and went to sit on her father's lap, giving him a hug.

"Hi pumpkin" he grinned back.

"Wanna play wif us?" she asked sweetly.

"Yeah daddy, play!" Bailey added excitedly.

"I wish I could play with you guys, but I cannot sit down on the floor with my broken leg" he reminded them.

"Oh, right..." Zola nodded.

"You can wead to us" Bailey was quick to propose.

"That I can do" he agreed "what do you guys want to read?"

"_G'night moon_" was Bailey's response.

"But that's for sleep time" Zola disagreed.

"Oh yeah..." the little boy paused to think some more "how 'bout _The vewy unwry cat'pillar_" he tried again.

"Oh, I like it!" Zola shrieked excitedly, jumping on the floor to go look for the book in the white and green bookcase they shared in the playroom.

"Want to sit down and listen to the story as well?" Derek grinned, looking at Jo who was still sitting on the floor.

"Sure, I'd love to" the young doctor sat next to Derek and the kids "I never had a parent reading stories to me growing up" she murmured.

"Aww, that's bad" Zola patted Jo on the back "mama and daddy wead to us all the time" she added, handing her father the brightly colored book.

"That's what good mommies and daddies do" Jo smiled at the girl.

"Daddy is super good at stories, he makes voices" she added, as she curled up on her father's lap next to her brother.

"I can't want to listen to him then..." Jo couldn't help but smile. When she had kids someday she hoped to be as good of a parent as Meredith and Derek were, she was pretty sure Alex would have become a great dad someday, even soon. She smiled to herself and settled down to listen to the story.

* * *

When the kids were put into bed the adults all sat in the living room, nursing coffee or tea and munching on some cookies.

"Does anybody want more coffee or tea?" Meredith asked since she wanted to get some more tea for herself.

Amelia, Owen, Alex and Jo all nodded "yes please" added Amelia.

"I'll come help you out" Alex got up with her.

"Are you two all settled?" Meredith looked at Derek and Carolyn, who both nodded, showing her their mugs still half-full.

Once they were in the kitchen Alex started the coffee maker, then turned to look at Meredith "so we didn't have a chance to speak alone after we got home this afternoon..." Alex mumbled as Meredith put on the kettle to make tea for herself and Amelia.

"Well, you basically sent me in my room to speak with my husband" she complained good-naturedly.

"I thought it was a good moment, since the kids were busy with Jo"

"You were right" she nodded "I took both tests..." she added, trying not to smile.

"You did?" he stared at her, motioning for her to go on "what did they say?"

"They were both positive" she murmured "you cannot tell it to anybody" she added quickly "I need to make sure the tests were right, I'm calling my ob-gyn tomorrow when I get back to work"

"Sure it's not like I was going to shout it from rooftops or anything" he mumbled sheepishly "I'm really happy for you guys" he added grinning.

"We're very happy too" she confessed "just a little worried about adding another baby to the mix with all that's been going on"

"I'm sure you guys will manage" he reassured her, spying the coffee pot who was starting to brew "if there is one thing we all know if that you guys can survive absolutely anything"

"Thanks Alex, I hope so" she smiled back at him.

"You're an amazing mom, Mere. You're so much different from your mother, you don't have to worry even for a minute to become like her..." he let his voice trail off and gave her a one armed hug.

"You remember the conversation we had when your brother came visit?" she asked.

"Yeah, I had already told you that you were going to be a great mom" he smirked "and I was right" he added for good measure.

"You really are a great friend, Alex"

"So are you, Mere" he smiled again, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.

The two of them went back in the living room carrying various mugs and some more cookies, ready to enjoy a nice night together.

**So this was chapter 12, I hope you've enjoyed it. I hope I did it justice, I kind of like the way it turned out... anyway drop me a line and stay tuned for more.**


	13. A sky full of stars

**AN: hi you guys, here I am updating just like I promised, unfortunately jet-lag gave me some issues (sleepless nights and endless tiring days), so I couldn't update earlier than now. First I want to answer**** greysfannn (****I cannot reply to you) who asked how could Meredith be 7-8 weeks pregnant if the accident was 6 weeks ago; it simply happened like on the show, she got pregnant before the accident. I hope you will enjoy this chapter, there's a change of scenery now that Mere is back to work.**

_A sky full of stars_

Meredith's return at work went pretty smoothly. She had prolonged her time off for another two weeks, making it a total of six weeks instead of the planned four. Owen had been very understanding and she had been content to spend more time at home, fully dedicated to her family. The kids did not fuss about her going back to work, since both Derek and Carolyn were still at home with them and she found herself looking forward to practice medicine. Meredith Grey hadn't held a scalpel in six whole weeks and she was ready to be back in the OR, ready to feel the thrill and the anticipation she usually felt before she started every surgery, eager to save some lives and spend some time soaking up medicine. She would have to start planning her new maternity leave sooner rather than later and she wanted to make sure to enjoy this unexpected pregnancy. She woke up bright and early on the first day she was due to be back, minutes before the alarm was set to ring, and stretched herself slowly. Taking a peek at the clock she saw the red digits signaling 05:48, and stifled a yawn, pulling herself out of bed to enjoy a hot shower.

When she came out of the bathroom she found Derek wide awake in bed, the _McDreamy smile_ plastered on his face "hey, did I wake you?

He shook his head "light sleeper" he reminded her "and besides, I don't get very tired nowadays..."

"Right..." she grinned, sitting next to him on the bed.

He gathered her in a long embrace, letting his lungs fill with her lavender scent and sighing contently "I'll miss you today" he whispered warmly in her ear, his voice sending shivers down her spine.

"I'll miss you too" she confessed.

"But I bet you're happy to go back to work" he added, massaging her back in slow motion.

She grinned and nodded "I am, even if I'm going to miss you and the kids a lot... and your mom too, she's doing wonders with my cooking skills"

He burst out laughing and she hit him playfully on his left arm "hey, I've baked a chicken the other day, didn't I?!"

He sobered up quickly and nodded "yes you did and it was really good" he agreed.

"Really?"

"I ate two servings, didn't I?"

"You did!"

"Then it was good"

"I still want to learn how to make pasta though..."

"I will teach you how to make my special pasta, no worries... we have plenty of time" he mumbled "all our lives to be exact" he added for good measure.

"Hopefully..." she mumbled, burrowing her face into the crook of his neck.

"I will do everything in my power to ensure that" his voice was serious in her ear, his tone once again giving her goosebumps.

"I know you will..." she murmured back after enjoying his embrace for a bit longer "and so will I"

"Glad to know that we are on the same page" he grinned at her and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. It was over soon, much too soon for her liking, so she tangled both hands into his hair and pulled him in for another kiss. The second one was slower, warmer, longer. She tasted him, nipping on his lower lip and he sighed into her mouth, exhaling a breath slowly. His tongue begged for entrance and she allowed him right away, enjoying the way he was caressing her tongue with his as they struggled for dominance. She moaned loudly as the kiss came to an end, both of them panting, trying to catch their breaths "that was more like it" she smirked, referring to the chaste kiss he had given her prior to this one.

"Something to remember you by" he added, his breathing still labored.

"That was the idea" she got up from the bed, smirk still in place, swaying her hips more than needed.

He groaned as he stared at her "you' re so mean" he whined "first you turn me on with your lavender smell, then you deprive me of oxygen with that kiss we just shared and now this..."

"I need to keep you on your toes" she wriggled her eyebrows as she said that and smiled sweetly "want some coffee?" she added opening the door.

"Sure" he sat up and reached for his crutches and got up from the bed, passing a hand in his untamed hair "let me go to the bathroom real quick" her giggle interrupted him and he rolled his eyes at her "I know I'm not very quick nowadays, but I'll do my best" he laughed.

"I'll turn the coffee pot on and look for some toast, are you hungry?"

"I'd like to have some muesli"

"All right you healthnut!" she giggled again.

"You could always try that, you know? It's very good and nutritious"

"It tastes like cardboard boxes" she made a face.

"That is so not true"

"I'll never be a fan of muesli, sorry about that"

"We'll see... maybe someday I will make you try it and you will like it"

"Keep dreaming" she snorted, smile still plastered on her face as she went to the kitchen.

* * *

Two hours later Meredith had called Connie's office to get an appointment and found out that she was on holiday; her assistant gave her an appointment for Tuesday on the following week. She had already told Derek about it, so he could clear up his calendar from appointments with his therapist. She was on her way to the ER now, after receiving a 911 page. Meredith cam face to face with Alex when she was only feet away from the elevator "hey, first day back!" he smiled at her.

"Yeah, it's good to be back" she smiled back "even if I miss the kids like crazy..." she mused.

"I bet they miss you too"

"They're enjoying their time with Nana a whole lot"

"I bet... they never really get to enjoy any grandparent" he motioned for her to enter the elevator and followed her in "did you get a 911 page too?"

"Yeah" she nodded as the elevator doors' dinged.

He pressed the lobby button and turned back to face her "so how is everybody?"

"Everything is going all right... Derek remembered Bailey's first birthday and Zola's first time on the tricycle the other day, he was so happy about that..."

"Sounds great" he grinned "he hadn't recover any memories for a while, right?"

"Yeah, he was getting kind of bummed about that" she shrugged her shoulders "sometimes I'm afraid of what will happen when the memories will stop coming back..."

"Well I don't think you have to worry about that just yet, he's still getting memories, he retrieved a lot of those, right?"

"He remembered quite a few" she nodded as the two of them left the elevator.

"Just have a talk with the other Shepherd" he proposed "you can maybe do some exercises that can trigger the return of more memories"

"Yeah, she will have him start working on that from next week" she nodded, biting the inside of her cheek, her gaze lost on the far side of the ER lobby.

"It will be ok, Mere" he reassured her, his tone light but firm "even if he won't recover every memory he lost he has remembered a lot of things already"

She kept nodding "I just hope he will accept that, cause I know I can and I know the kids are just happy to have their daddy home"

"He will accept that, he know he got lucky. What really matters is that he's home, with you guys and he gets to spend the rest of his life with you" he reminded her.

She felt tears prickling in the corner of her eyes "you're going to make you cry and I really don't want to do that at work" she gave him a stern look.

"Sorry, it's just the truth" his smile was sheepish.

"You've just earned the godfather spot" she grinned at him.

"Are you serious?"

"Of course! You are my best friend, along with Cristina"

"Cool... I'd love to"

The two of them were interrupted by the arrival of two ambulances, one was transporting two kids and the other their mother; two other ambulances were on the way with their father and the drunk driver who had caused the accident. Alex went to work on the 6 years old boy who had suffered a trauma in his abdomen; Arizona went to work on his little 22 months old sister who looked like she was in good shape, but you could never know with kids as small as her, since they couldn't speak yet. That left Meredith working on their mother along with Amelia; she had a gash on her head and a hematoma in her abdomen. After taking her to get a CT scan and finding the source of both hematoma they decided to open her up and operate on her at the same time. The surgery took them six hours, but it was successful. When they came out of the OR they wheeled her in the ICU and found out that her husband was there as well. He had suffered a broken collarbone, sternum and femur; Callie had operated him and fixed the collarbone and the femur. He also had some minor scratches and a big headache, but other than that he was fine and the same thing went for the kids. The entire family was safe and sound. It was a good day. After she was done with post-ops she felt her stomach rumble with hunger and looked at the time, it was already 3:15 p.m. "hey, want to grab a bite in the cafeteria?" she found herself face to face with Alex.

"I haven't had lunch yet" he went on.

"Me neither, let's go..." she agreed.

* * *

The two of them found the cafeteria almost empty, only Arizona and Callie were there, sitting at the same table. Alex and Meredith both grabbed a salad with chicken, he added fries and a soda and she added a shake, then they went to sit with the other two.

"Wow, long morning" Callie smiled at the two of them.

"You can definitely say that" Meredith countered quickly, stealing a fry from Alex's plate.

"Hey" he swatted her hand away.

"No shake for you" she stuck her tongue out at him.

"Okay, okay... you can have a couple of fries" he agreed.

"You guys are like a couple of kids" Arizona laughed as she sipped her soda.

"Well, he's kind of the brother I never had"

"And you're almost like my annoying little sister" he shrugged, grinning.

"You wish! At least you would have had someone to copy notes from..."

"That would have been useful" he agreed.

"Isn't it kind of weird that you only had sisters?" Callie mused out loud.

Meredith thought about it "it wasn't really probable, was it?!"

"Three half sisters, no half brother" Arizona was counting on her fingers.

"That we know of" Alex smirked as he stole a sip from Meredith's shake.

"Seriously?!" Meredith threw him a dirty look and the other two laughed.

"Well, with your mother you never know" he defended himself.

"I doubt another one will come around... but you're probably right, you can never tell with my mom" she made a face as she bit down on her salad.

"Hey, how's Derek doing?"

"Pretty good, he remembered some more and he's always happy when that happens"

"I can totally understand that" Callie nodded.

"I just wish he wouldn't worry about remembering all the time, a day will come when he won't remember anything else..."

"Yeah, I know, but you know how Derek is..." Arizona's voice trailed off.

"Hardheaded?!"

"Like any other surgeon" Alex defended him.

"We kind of are like that" Callie agreed.

"I know that, but what can we do... I wish there was a magic wand I could use and he would get all his memories back, but nothing like that exists "

"Just give it time... it's only been 6 weeks" Arizona reminded her.

"I can give it time, no problem... it's Derek the one that hates to wait"

"Well, men are impatient, we all know that" Callie gave her input.

"Yes, we do!" Meredith laughed.

"Hey, why do I feel like I'm under scrutiny here?!" Alex whined.

"No reason" Meredith laughed.

"I need to hang out with more men" he lamented.

"You secretly love it"Arizona reminded him.

Meredith grinned along with Callie and stole another fry. It was good to be back to work, even if she missed the kids and Derek like crazy.

**So I hope you liked the chapter. Next one will be Bailey's birthday and the appointment with Connie... leave me a review and let me know what you thought. I should update between Thursday and Fridaym stay tuned for more.**


	14. God put a smile upon your face

**AN: Hey you guys, I'm back with the newest installment of my story. Sorry for the delay, but work is too busy at the moment. Bailey's birthday is finally here and so is the appointment with Connie. Thank you, as usual, for your continuous support. You guys are the absolute best! Enjoy chapter 14.**

_God put a smile upon your face_

After an entire week at work, even if it had mostly been part-time, Meredith was more than ready to spend the weekend at home, hosting Bailey's second birthday party. His actual birthday had been on Tuesday, but they had decided on having the party on Sunday, that way more people would be able to attend it. Derek and Meredith had given him a brightly colored tricycle, the boy had been longing for one seeing how much Zola loved biking, and some jungle themed books. Zola had given him the stuffed animal she had gotten when she went shopping with her mom. Carolyn had bought him art supplies along a new plastic table to be placed in the playroom, this way Zola was included in the present as well. Amelia got him a big set of Lego blocks that he could share with Zola as well. Meredith and Derek both appreciated them for their thoughtfulness, but Zola wasn't actually jealous about her little brother. She had proved it to her parents by telling them "I hope Bay gets lots an' lots of pwesents an' we can also share" she grinned brightly when he was done opening gifts and the entire family bursted out laughing.

Meredith had ended up working really late on Wednesday, spending fourteen hours in the OR and getting home way after dinner. She had gotten home later than she was supposed to on Friday as well, but it was only 4 in the afternoon, she had even found the time to go shopping for last minute's supplies for the party. When she entered the house she found Derek busy playing dress up with the kids in the playroom and Carolyn reading in the living room.  
"Hello dear, how are you?" her mother in law placed the book down on the coffee table and turned to look at the younger woman as she re-entered the room.  
"Hi, I'm great... happy to be home for the weekend" she smiled "how are you?"  
"I'm grand" Carolyn's smile reached her eyes and lit up her entire face, she took a good look at Meredith and added "I'm just so grateful to be here with you guys"  
"Don't even mention it..."  
"No Meredith, I insist" she smiled again and went on "it's been so nice to be able to stay here with you guys, enjoying my littlest grandkids and spending time with my only son, along with getting to know you better and see what a wonderful family you guys make... I don't think I can thank you enough"  
Meredith felt at a loss of words, was this woman really complimenting her? Thanking her for being able to spend time with her family? The same woman who never really liked Addison and didn't think that she had been right for Derek. She was definitely not used to this.  
Carolyn recognized her deer-in-the-highlights look and patted the younger woman warmly on the shoulder "you're also giving me the chance to spend some time with Amelia and that's another thing I should be thanking you for..."  
"Well...you, you're family" she stuttered nervously.  
"I'm very happy that we are" she agreed.  
"And, for the record, Amy is my favorite between Derek's sisters" she added, a small smile gracing her features.  
"I kind of had a feeling about that"  
"Well, to be honest, I never had the chance to meet Kathleen and my encounter with Liz was really brief..."  
"And I've heard that Nancy wasn't too fond of you when she came over" Carolyn grinned at her, thinking about how tough her oldest daughter could be.  
"You've heard right" Meredith grimaced at the thought.  
"Nancy can be hardheaded and difficult to please, plus she's always been a big friend of Addison" Carolyn tried to defend her daughter "I know she was surprised when the two of them broke up, we all were because we never had any suspicions that something was wrong" she paused for a little while and took Meredith's hand into hers "I'm sure she'll change her mind once she comes visit and sees how happy you guys are"  
The younger woman swallowed slowly and gave a weak smile "do you really think so?" her voice sounded small.  
"Yes I do, I've been here for almost two months already and I've seen the two of you together. You two complete each other and you are also amazing parents. I know it's hard work with the demands of your jobs, but you're doing an awesome job. I'm so proud of you both, I just wish Christopher could have met you..."  
"I know Derek and Amy miss him terribly" it was Meredith's turn to take the other woman's hand into hers.  
"So do I..." Carolyn dried a lone tear with the back of her sleeve and smiled once more "it's been 30 years already..."  
"Yeah, Derek told me..."  
"I never even thought about finding someone else, you know?"  
"Why? If you don't mind me asking"  
"At first I was just too busy, you know? Five kids, I restarted working full time and then...well, then I just got used to be by myself. I still don't sleep on his side of the bed"  
"You clearly loved each other very much, Derek showed me a couple of pictures...I hope our bond is just as strong"  
"I'm sure it is, as I already told you I've been looking at you and your deep affection for one another is evident, I'm really happy he came over here and found you"  
"I'm happy too" Meredith paused, unsure about how to go on "for a very long time I wasn't sure I would have the chance to have a family of my own...with my family history" she scrunched her nose, scratching it with her hand "but then your son waltzed in my life and everything changed" she grinned, reminding their first meeting.  
"I'm really glad dear" Carolyn gave her a one armed hug and then she changed the subject "did you find everything we need to make cupcakes and cookies?!"  
"I sure did"  
"Did someone mention cookies?!" Derek entered the living room with the kids in tow.

"Aren't you supposed to be a health nut?!" Meredith was quick to chastise him.

"Well...I might be, but still love my mom's cookies"

"An' so do we mommy" Zola grinned sweetly at the two women, Bailey nodding by her side.

"We're going to bake cookies and cupcakes for the party on Sunday" Carolyn explained to the kids.

"Yay, my pawty?"

"Yes, your party Mister... I still can't believe you're already two years old..." Meredith mused out loud as she looked at her two kids.

* * *

As expected Sunday morning proved itself to be quite hectic with all the party preparations to complete. After breakfast Meredith, Carolyn and Amy started baking the cupcakes and cookies, with Zola's help. Alex came over to pick up Derek and Bailey in order to go get the cake they had ordered at a bakery downtown and grab something the seven of them could have for a quick lunch. Callie, Arizona, Sophia, Jo, Bailey, Ben and Tuck arrived at 1 o' clock to help out with the party preparations. It was a gorgeous day, the sky was clear and blue and the air smelled sweet and summery; the kids were going to be able to play outside for the entire afternoon. When the party started, at 2:30 p.m., Bailey was already busy running around with his sister, Sophia and Tuck, playing tag.

"Bailey, sweetie, come say hello to your friends" Meredith came over to call him and the two-years-old happily obliged. All the kids that he had invited from daycare had come to the party, including his best friends Daniel and Nicholas. Meredith and Derek had also invited some friends of Zola, and Sophia, and soon the group of 15 kids was having lots of fun playing in the area of the garden that they had set up as a playground. The oldest ones were taking turns on the swings and the slide, while the youngest ones were playing in the sand box and the merry-go-round. Laughter could be heard all over the garden as kids with ages ranging from 2 to 9 ran around and played hard. The adults took turns to check up on the kids, making sure than nobody was getting hurt while playing and that none of the kids was playing too rough.

"Mama, can we go swimmin'?" Zola's question to Meredith came sort of unexpected and the woman turned around to find her little girl and Sophia both sporting identical pleading looks in their eyes.

"Sweetie I'm sorry, but we told you and your brother that the pool won't be ready for another week" Meredith reminded her.

"Oh, that's right..." Zola looked sad, but cheered up almost immediately "does that mean that Soph can come over nex week'nd?!"

"We should ask that to her moms" it was Derek who answered, pointing to Callie and Arizona.

"Pwetty please?" both kids wore that same pleading look they had worn moments before.

"What are you guys up to?" Arizona grinned at the pair.

"Can I come swim with Zola an' Bay next week'nd?" Sophia gave both of her moms her best smile.

"I'm on call next weekend, so it's really up to you" Callie reminded her ex wife.

"I don't see why not" Arizona gave the girls her infamous smile and the two of them high-fived.

"Let's go back on the swin" Zola took Sophia's hand into hers and the two of them ran away grinning.

"I hope it's fine by you" Arizona added turning to face Meredith and Derek.

"More than fine, don't worry...if the day is nice we might to another barbecue" Derek gestured to the grill where they were going to grill for an early dinner followed by birthday cake.

"Sounds fun" Callie smiled.

"You're welcomed to come, as soon as you're done at work"

"I might take you up on that"

* * *

By four o' clock some of the kids were beginning to get tired with all the running around, so the adults called them up to the table in order for them to get a drink and pick between a cupcake or a cookie to have as a snack. After they had all eaten they were divided in two teams to play a game of treasure hunt. Each team picked an adult captain. Bailey and his team chose Owen, while the other team, that included both Zola and Sophia, picked Alex. The game kept them well occupied for almost an hour and, by the time Bailey's team had won, it was time for the birthday boy to open his presents. While he busied himself with the brightly wrapped boxes, surrounded by his guests, the men started the grill and got ready to barbecue. Alex, Owen and Jackson prepped the meat and the bread while Derek, Ben and Richard cut up vegetables and prepped the veggie burgers. As soon as Bailey was done opening presents, Meredith sent him in the house with a couple of his friends and Amy to place the presents in his room. In the meantime she picked up the trash while Carolyn, Callie and April set the table. Dinner was ready at 6 and all kids decided to have a picnic on the blankets that had been set up by Arizona and Jo, leaving the adults room to eat quietly at the table. When everyone was done eating, Meredith and Carolyn went to get the birthday cake. It was decorated with a big number 2 and the writing HAPPY BIRTHDAY BAILEY. Everyone sang to him and, when they were done, he blew on the candles with his parents' help as Amelia snapped tons of pictures.

"Did you make a wish buddy?"

He nodded at his dad as his mom was cutting the cake and his sister had come over to give him a fierce hug that was captured by Amelia, just like the rest of the party had been. When his friends left it was around 8 and he stood there handing out party flavors. It was a paper bag containing a cupcake and a cookie, both homemade, along with Madagascar themed stickers and a set of crayons.

"Did you like your party, Bay?" it was Meredith who asked him once they were in the living room; Callie, Arizona, Sophia, Richard, Owen, Alex and Jo were the only ones left.

" 'twas the bes mama" he yawned

"Are you sleepy kiddo?" Amelia asked the obvious.

"Yeah" he yawned once more and everyone in the room laughed.

"Come on, let's go take a bath and then mama and I will read you a story" Derek got up and Bailey followed him without protesting.

"He must be really exhausted, I've never seen a two-years-old so willing to go to bed" Callie snorted humorously.

"He's been awake since 9 this morning and he didn't take any nap" was Meredith's answer.

"Makes sense"

"You're next, miss. When daddy is done with Bailey you're taking a bath as well" Meredith looked at Zola, engrossed in a conversation with Sophia.

"Okay" she agreed, stifling a yawn, much like Sophia was doing.

"Soph, we should get going to" Arizona said, looking at Callie who just nodded.

All their friends left, leaving Carolyn, Amelia and the family of four. When Derek was getting Bailey ready for bed Meredith took Zola for her bath and then the four of them snuggled on the king sized bed of the master bedroom to read a story together. The day had definitely been perfect.

* * *

The following Tuesday, at 11 a.m. Meredith and Derek were nervously waiting for her name to be called for the appointment with Meredith's OB-Gyn to confirm her pregnancy.

"Dr. Grey" Connie's assistant called them "Dr. Ryan will see you now" she pointed to the room behind her desk and the two of them got up and hurried to the office.

"Hi Meredith, Derek..." Connie smiled at them and gestured to the two empty seats in front of her "how are you recovering from the accident?" she turned to look at Derek as he tried to settle down comfortably on the chair.

"Better everyday" he smiled back "the leg still bothers me a little, but I'll get rid of this cast soon enough"

"Glad to hear that... how are the kids?"

"They're both doing great, Bailey just turned two years old"

"Wow, two already. Seems like yesterday that he decided to come into this world during that dreadful storm"

"Let's not remember that, shall we?" Meredith still felt nervous whenever she thought about that. Connie started the visit by weighing her and taking some notes about how she was feeling. After they were done a nurse came and drew her blood "I'm going to call you up tomorrow so we can discuss the results" she said as the two of them nodded "why don't you take off your clothes and put on the gown while I write you down the prescription for the prenatal vitamins?"

Meredith went behind the curtain and emerged dressed in the white hospital gown, she sat on the bed and placed her legs in the stirrups. Derek got up and went to sit by her side, right in front of the ultrasound machine.

"Ready to take a peek at your baby?" Connie asked as she went to stand by Meredith's other side.

They just nodded, both feeling nervous all of a sudden.

"Remember that the gel is going to be cold" Connie said before spreading the substance on Meredith's abdomen. She soon followed with the transducer and shuffled it around her stomach until she settled on a spot and a _woosh-woosh _sound filled the entire room.

"This is your baby's heartbeat" she told them, but they were not even listening, both of them were too engrossed in the screen showing them the life they had created together.

"Looks like Bailey wasn't your only miracle after all" she quietly added as Meredith and Derek's eyes filled with happy tears "let me print you a copy"

Derek just stared at Meredith's happy face and closed the distance between them "I love you much"

"So do I Derek..."

**So here was chapter 14, I hope you enjoyed it, I think this was my longest chapter so far. I will do my best to update before the end of this week, hopefully work will slow down a little. Drop me a line and let me know what you thought of this update. **


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